The Rules - Revised- Chapter Seven

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS

The Rules, Revised

Recap: “I think it’s time I confronted Sakura.” Syaoran announced. “tonight.” Yelan nodded.

“Yes, I think the time has come.”

--

“Sakura,” Syaoran called as she entered his room. “We need to talk.”

Chapter Seven

“Talk? About what?” She asked curiously. She sat down comfortably in one of his arm chairs. Syaoran walked up, closed the door and locked it with a key he put on a chain around his neck. He wanted her to see it.

“This key—“ He pointed to the chain. “Is the only way to get out of this room. I want you to know that because I’m going to ask some questions and you can choose not to answer, but without this key you cannot leave this room. I know for a fact that you could easily knock me out and get the key from me. I want you to know that if you feel you have to do that, I won’t object.” Sakura looked at him quizzically. What this was about she didn’t have a clue, but it had to be serious if he was going to let her beat him up to leave. She didn’t think he’d try to seduce her, or try to force himself on her. If he had those intentions he wouldn’t have shown her the key.

“Okay…” she trailed off. “What’s this about?” Syaoran moved over a cupboard he’d recently put a lock on. He unlocked it with the same key that he’d used to lock the door and pulled out a pink book. Sakura gasped. Syaoran nodded. It was a confirmation that yes, he had stolen her Diary.

“When you knocked me down last month as I tried to get up and grabbed onto your bed for support your Diary fell out. At the time I was hungry to know more about you, so yes. I stole it. I had to force Wei with every power I had over him to lie to you. He was, and is, seriously opposed to me snooping through your Diary.” Syaoran had chosen his words carefully, if there was one thing he didn’t want to do it was to make Wei seem disloyal to her. In truth he still occasionally give Syaoran the evil eye whenever he passed him.

“I’ve read so many entries, in fact, I’ve read the entire book.” He admitted. “I learned more than I would have otherwise. Kinomoto, you didn’t murder your mother.”

Sakura shook her head, “Yes I did, I know I did. Daddy tells me I did—“

“Your dad lied.” He explained. “I’ve spent the last month adding up things that didn’t match. I’ve finally figured it out though.

“Figured out what exactly?” She asked bewildered. This was a lot to take in, he’d read her Diary so she should be mad. But he was trying to help her… wasn’t he? So she should be grateful? There were so many emotions flooding through her that the only one should could process was shock.

“Okay, this is what I think happened.” Syaoran recounted his suspicions to Sakura giving her every detail of proof he could possibly think of. If there was one thing he wanted her to believe it was her own innocence in the murder of her mother.

“I don’t believe you.” She said finally, “I know what I did.”

“You did nothing.” He replied firmly. “Does your father or does he not hurt you… physically.”

“He…” should she protect him. “He…” Or rat him out. “He…. Uh…” She knew what he did. She knew how much he’d hurt her, how many broken bones she’d had because of him. She alone knew how many scars he’d left on her, seen or unseen. “Sometimes,” She whispered. “Sometimes he can’t control himself.” She looked up at Syaoran with pleading eyes. “He doesn’t understand that’s all, he doesn’t mean to.” She hated that she was protecting him.

“Yes he does.” Syaoran said. In your Diary you wrote “’there’s no hope for me. Why does this keep happening to me? I know he knows what he’s doing… he looks… happy when he’s doing it. When his fist collides with me body he looks… ecstatic. Joyous.’ He knows what he’s doing, he’s likes it. And you… you don’t deserve it.”He looked at her with eyes filled will all kinds of emotions. Fear. Anger. Sympathy. Caring. Worry. Sakura’s eyes began to fill up with salted tears.

“You don’t understand.” She tried.

“You wont let me.” He countered. “Why don’t you just … trust me?”

“Because…” She trailed off. She had a hundred reasons why should shouldn’t trust men, but nearly none to why should shouldn’t trust him. Hadn’t he helped her? Hadn’t be become her friend when she had no one? Hadn’t he listened to her? Hadn’t he given up all passes at her? Hadn’t he given up making her love him? Her mind froze.

“This is a trick.” She replied. “You’re still trying to make me fall for you.” It was a desperate hope, something she could cling on to, something that would make her not trust him. Not believe him.

“No Sakura.” He whispered. How could she think that. “You don’t believe that.”

“I do.” Said she. “You’re just trying to make me trust you.”

“Sakura” He said in frustration. “Don’t you understand? I want to help you. I can’t stand to see you hurt like this. I don’t want you to have to feel alone anymore!”

“I’m just fine being alone.” She lied. “I’m perfectly happy being the way I am.”

“Then why aren’t your entries happy? Why don’t they talk of love and all those other things girls usually write about? Where’s the laughter? Where’s the smiles, the fun!”

“I… You shouldn’t have read my Diary!” She shouted. “do you think you’re so superior to me that you think you can get away with this by telling me some made up story about what you think is right? Do you think I’ll fall crying into your arms so that you can—“ Her voice cracked. “So that you can comfort me? Is that how you planned to make me fall for you? Is that what you wanted? Or did you just want to hurt me?” Her voice quieted to a whisper. “Did you just want to hurt me like everyone else did?” Syaoran took a step towards the broken girl. He was very cautious, experience told him that while girls may seem vulnerable they can actually blow up in your face if you make any sudden moves. He placed his arms on her shoulder’s and gently pulled her into him.

“Shh…” He soothed. “It’s going to be alright. No one’s going to hurt you. I won’t hurt you. I’ll protect you.” He made her promises, promises she believed to be empty but that he knew to be true.

“I don’t want you to protect me.” She whispered. She felt weak and vulnerable. She felt so fragile, not like the tough girl she knew she was… knew she could be.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered. “I… I know I shouldn’t have… It was yours personally, you’re problems… I shouldn’t have…” He had to stop because he felt himself become teary eyed. He had promised never to cry. Sakura looked up at him. He looked away from her eyes, trying to hide his watery eyes. She took this as confirmation of his lies. Quickly, decisively she kneed him in the gut. He fell to the ground in surprise.

“You can’t take advantage of my weaknesses, you can’t lie to me.” She seethed.

“I’m not lying.” He groaned. “I did a poor job of completing the bet with my mother.”

“What?” She asked, surprised to hear about his mother. Sakura had admired Yelan from the moment she’d met her. The woman was beautiful beyond measure and had an air or royalty, someone who wouldn’t take abuse from other people.

“My mother, she made me a bet. A challenge really. A promise. She brought you here to be mine.” He said standing up slowly. “She said to me. ‘she is both your challenge and your prize’ I was to win you over. Make you fall in love with me.”

“You lost.” Sakura said defiantly, even though a hidden emotion was stirring inside of her.

“Yes, I did.” He agreed. “Because the plan went horribly wrong. I was supposed to make you fall for me not me fall for you.”

Sakura blinked twice, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Only that it was me who fell in love with you, not you who fell in love with me.” He said. “I can’t make any excuses for the way I’ve acted or the things I’ve read. At the time when I stole your Diary I had wanted to learn more about you. I wanted to know your secrets, your weaknesses, ways I could get you to love me. I found nothing. All I learned was that you are stronger than I am. You have no weaknesses that I could identify. You’re only problem is that you believe a lie.”

“No, my only problem is you.” She spat. “You search through my things, steal my personal belongings, lie to me, try to manipulate me and now you love me? And I’m supposed to believe that?!”

“I’m sorry.” He said quietly. His eyes were downcast, he didn’t see the sympathetic, confused look that Sakura gave him. She was fighting an inner conflict. Her heart ached for him but her mind refused to let him near her. She wanted him, but wanted to leave him. She felt like he’d ripped her in two and made her whole at the same time, it was an awkward feeling and she didn’t know exactly how to deal with it.

“I never wanted to be superior to you. And I certainly don’t feel superior. I feel weak, selfish… guilty. I feel like I’m just another one of those guys. But I know I’m not.”

“You have a weird way of showing it.” She grumbled. “I’ll be leaving as soon as I can.” Consequences or not.

“You can’t!” He shouted. His eyes wide with fear.

“And why not?” She asked, it took all of her power to keep her eyes locked to his.

“He’ll… Sakura he’ll kill you!” He shouted. “You… no…” He shook his head in denial. “I can’t let you go back to him. I can’t lose you!” He shouted again, “do you understand me? I can’t lose you.” Sakura was taken aback by the force of his words. He heart beat so fast, so loud that she was sure he could hear it, could feel it. It made her feel even more vulnerable, but she didn’t want to leave him. She didn’t want to go back to her father. She didn’t want any of that. Her mind replayed the moments when he’d held her in his arms. She’d felt protected, safe. She liked that feeling. She wanted it. But…

“You have to.” She replied. If there was one thing she was sure of. It was that if she didn’t marry him, and didn’t go back then Syaoran would be in danger. She hated to be thinking of him when he’d violated her the way he had. He hadn’t physically harmed her or touched her, except for the few times he’d nudged her with his shoulder or flicked her but emotionally and mentally he’d violated her in every way. She suddenly felt as if she had to protect him.

“I can’t stay here.” She said. “I’ll call dad in the morning to come and get me.” Her eyes stared at the floor as she made her way out.

“Sakura!” He called after her. “Sakura!” She turned around to look at his pleading face. He grabbed her wrist as gently as he could, she knew he was given her a choice. She could walk away from him easily, but she could stay just as easily.

“Marry me.” He blurted. “Marry me and you’ll never have to go back to him.”

“I can’t.” She said. Her eyes tearing up. Was he really willing to do that? Marry her so that she’d be free? Or was this just another ploy? “I can’t!” He shouted and ran from him. Syaoran watched her go and limped back into his room, it was going to be hell trying to make his mind blank enough to get some sleep.

--

In the end Syaoran didn’t manage to get any sleep but he’d stayed laying in his bed for the entire night just thinking. He had an insane urge to throw himself off a cliff. A knock sounded from the door, quickly he got up and opened it. Wei stood before him in a state of panic.

“Wei?” Syaoran asked, he’d never seen the old man look so worried. “What’s wrong?”

“It’s Kinomoto-san, he’s come to pick up Sakura.” Wei panted. “And he’s brought henchmen.”