Did I go to hard on the guy? I mean I wanted to show some dignity and didn’t want to show that I’m hopelessly desperately in love with the boy? I mean what’s a girl to do?
Since I had that talk with Syaoran. I could not help feeling guilty, I mean, was I too rough on him? I still felt mean for insulting Anna, and everything. But then again, Anna is a bitch. I can’t lie about that.
Argh! This is so frustrating. I bet he forgot we even had this conversation. I’m the idiot, I’m the one who remembers everything we’ve had in contact with. I’m such a sick idiot. I feel so disgusted with myself. Plunging this low for a man.
“ SAKURA!”
“ Huh?” I said.
“ I said. Could I be partners with you?” The person repeated.
I looked up, between my strands of honey brown hair, I could still make out Tomoyo’s face. She was giggling.
What is she laughing at?
It hit me like a train.
“ So, should I go to your desk?” The person kept on mumbling.
“ Oh My God!” I whispered.
Syaoran. Syaoran. Syaoran.
Why is he asking me to be partners with him?
I looked around. Obviously looking for Anna. But she wasn’t there. That’s when I realized she was absent. So I’m like a last resort for him now? How sad.
I nodded, and let him grab his chair and both of us sat together.
“ So…….” He broke the silence.
“ Do you know what to do?” He asked.
“ No”
He burst out laughing. I blushed, again.
“ Okay…” He was done laughing now, and had regained his speaking voice again.
“ Obviously, you were in sakura-land, but now its time to get back to business. See Sakura! The trick is to know the formulas, as long as you know the formulas, then you would have no problem doing all these sums. For example here…” He kept on explaining.
I listened, but I also can’t stop staring at his gorgeous face. Those fine ruffled brown hair. His serious look when he explains something. So cute!
It took me a while to get the questions right, but Syaoran helped me and I understood it. The school bell echoed through the noisy classroom, it was time for break.
“ Syaoran?” I asked.
“ What?” He said. His expressions are always well… expressionless.
“ Thanks…” I thanked him, very awkwardly.
“ Yeah yeah, no problem” He replied.
I am fantasizing about Syaoran again. I mean I couldn’t help it, we just spent 50 minutes together. HAHAHAHA! I am blessed!
Yes I know I sound like some obsessed freak, but I couldn’t help it. All my life, I’ve always been a chameleon. I’ve always just sit and watch time go by. Because I was never the girl, the girl that had guys falling for her, lots of friends, smart in everything. I am just a teenage delinquent who feels sorry for herself.
But now, things have changed, if you have noticed…
The guy thing, yeah well it is still negative. I mean, no guys talk to me. Other than Eriol, but he cares for me in a friend- sister way. It may look like he likes me because he’s so nice and caring, but he loves Tomoyo. I know it. I think they might just be on the brink of getting back together.
And Syaoran? I don’t know what happened. But he has been really nice to me lately. Talking to me often in class, and always offering me help. Maybe we are going to become friends…I hope so…
Throwing the opposite sex aside, I realized that Tomoyo ditching me is actually luck in disguise. I mean, if she had not left me. I would have never met Mei Lin, Rika, Naoko and Chiharu and Eriol. I still would have met Eriol, but we wouldn’t be as close as we are now. Come to think of it, I have friends now.
I have friends now. The chameleon is starting to adapt to her environment a bit, just for once.
I might as well just be happy and accept the fact and thank the fates that I at least now have friends that supported me. And move on with life.
My fantasies of having a wonderful life were then interrupted, again, by this time a painful nudge on my shoulder.
I looked up.
Look what the cat dragged in.
If it isn’t Anna herself.
What does she want? I thought we were over with, well she was over with picking on me?
“ You bitch!” She hissed.
“ What did I do now?” I said, innocently, and I’m telling the truth, I honestly did not know what else could make her mad now.
“ I’ll tell you what you did. You made Syaoran break up with me!” She yelled.
The words hit me like a bombshell.
Syaoran broke up with Anna?
When?
“ He did?” I repeated.
“ Yes he did! And now I owe you one, scum sucking bitch!” Anna mocked.
“ Hey hey, Anna, cool it for a second? Before you can start beating the shit out of me? I need explanations…” I declared, trying to cool her down.
“ Getting braver are you now eh? Now that you have some back-up you’re not afraid to open your slimy big mouth and have some stupid retarded comments coming out of it.” Anna scorned.
“ Get to the point…” I said, bored. This is really pissing me off.
“ Yesterday, we were talking…” Anna started. Then she kept quiet. It was obvious that she was not up to any talking or explaining. So she is finding the best way to summarize the whole thing. “ And he broke up with me…” She finished.
“ That has to do with me because?…” I asked.
“ I am not finished. When I asked why? He said because I’m not the girl he likes, he says I’m very mean and insensitive, and I asked him, how do you know what personality I have? And he replied, well I have been watching you lately, and he blurted out ‘Sakura was right….’ And I figured you’d be the one to persuade him, feed him off some lies so he could ditch me and you can suck his dick all to yourself.” She yelled.
Wow, that was mean.
“ Are you done?” I said.
Anna just looked at me, eyes on fire.
“ I most certainly did not brainwash him.” I said, I know, what a lame comeback, but what the hell? No time to think. “ I just told him the truth.”
“ The truth?” She repeated. Then she shrieked, “ and what is that?”
“ That you’re not a very nice person.” I said. I just couldn’t say bitch, or swear to anyone, I only swear to myself, and them but I don’t tell them, in their face.
“ You suck, you think you can win this. Huh? Huh? Look face it Kinomoto, we all know that you’re a wannabe. You wanna be hot just like us. And you’re as bad as Chiriko, and we think you’re lower than that because, you are not fat. You want to have the guy, you want to have the look, and you want to have the brains. But there’s no need to lie so that he would break up with me.” She reasoned, her voice getting higher.
I really wanted to cry, how could she? Even when she is upset, she still has the power to make you lose control, and admit defeat. And I was losing…
“ I did not. There is a difference between a truth and a lie. Obviously. The truth, you’re not a very nice person.” I repeated again, seriously, I like suck at making good comebacks.
Mei Lin, Tomoyo, Naoko, Chiharu and Rika, were also watching me and Anna fight. They’re not idiots, them, they won’t help me unless Anna starts using physical actions towards me.
Calm down, I said to myself. They are just words. Don’t believe everything she says.
“ So I’m just telling you, be nicer.” I said.
Then I ran out of the cafeteria, and sat on a bench.
I hugged my knees, and started crying.
I could not help it. How could Anna be so mean? She knows how to get to me so easily.
“ It’s not your fault.” A deep voice said, and the person’s hand clamped on my shoulder.
I looked up.
“ Li.” I whispered.
He sat next to me.
“ I broke up with her because I saw who she really is. It had nothing to do with what you said to me that day we had detention. The only words I took from you is that I should go and see who she really is. And I did, when I wasn’t there, she turned into a mean person. And she is, when I saw her, she was flirting with all the guys, bullying people, and everything.” Syaoran explained.
“ Took you long enough.” I managed to say.
“ I’m sorry.” Was all he said.
“ Forgive me?” He asked, softly.
“ Yeah…” I said.
I still could not help feeling guilty though and because of that.
I could not stop crying.
“ So, how did you find out?” I sniffled.
“ I was at this club a few days ago, you know, having a guy’s night out alone, and then I was just walking around then I saw her. Which was a surprise, because I asked her to come to another club with me, but she said she had to stay home. So I went to the other one instead. So obviously she lied to me. I saw her, dancing, and flirting with guys. And guess what? She cheated on me. With you know whom? Leo, you know the guy who’s in the soccer team?” He explained.
I nodded.
“ They started kissing right in front of me. But I don’t think she noticed me at all, because she’s too busy making out with Leo. Did you know about this?” He asked me.
“ No. I honestly didn’t. I only wanted to point out to you that she’s a mean bully. I didn’t expect her to cheat on you.” I said, and that was the truth.
Syaoran, did the most surprising thing next.
The one, which sent me to, the Moon and I stayed there for a while.
He put his arm around me and held me close.
I blushed deeply.
“ Thanks for being a friend, a good one, we never were, and yet you are still nice.” He thanked me.
“ Uh…yeah… it’s okay…” I managed to whisper.
I wanted to stay like that with him, for like ever. But he let go, come on, in his eyes, I am just a friend I guess.
“ Hey we have to go to class… come on.” He held out his hand.
Instinctively, I took it too eagerly, but I hope he didn’t notice that as we sped off to class.
“ hohohoho…we saw you two…” Tomoyo giggled, as we head off home together.
“ Ehem.” I retorted. “ What about you and Mr. Hiragazaawa?”
That hit her. She was blushing like crazy now.
“ Yeah…what about it?” She mumbled.
“ What about it? Dahling is that you are still very much in love with the guy…” Mei Lin, mocking a posh voice.
All of us were going to tease her more, until then we were interrupted by the man himself.
“ Guys wait up!” He said, we stopped so he could catch up to us.
“ Hi Eriol.” Tomoyo said.
“ Hey Eriol.” We echoed her.
Then as if like magic, just as we were you know going to confront her if Eriol and Tomoyo were going to get back together, before he came. He turned to Tomoyo and he asked.
“ Um, Tomoyo can I talk to you for a sec?” He said, seriously.
“ Privately.” He finished.
“ Okay, come on lets go” Chiharu said. We all followed her.
I wasn’t really surprised actually that he wants to talk to her ‘privately.’ Since Tomoyo and I made up. He has been flirting with her endlessly, in lessons, lunch break. And Tomoyo, of course flirts back. All of us, and we know Tomoyo has, though she wouldn’t tell us, were expecting he would ask her out again.
“ They are so kawaii.” Rika said, holding her hands together, and putting one leg up anime style. Let’s not forget the starry eyes.
“ Okay girls, let’s bet! I bet that they would be going out tomorrow, what’s yours? I’m placing high price here!” Yamazaki announced.
Chiharu twisted his ears.
“ Ow ow, okay how about if Tomoyo comes to school with a hickey tomorrow?”
“ Shut up!”
I laughed. I was so happy for Tomoyo…But I am of course still humane, a part of me still wishes Li Syaoran would ask me out!
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