I'm In Love with a Plumber
Rule Number Four:
When living with Li Syaoran,
Expect everything to be a total disaster.
oOo
"Sakura, get up. Sakura!"
Sakura swatted the hand away and pulled the sheet tightly over her head. "Otou-saaaan, go away!"
"Pig." The voice snorted slightly. "Sorry, but she's not waking up. Can I take a message?"
Hm... that voice. It's so hot...
Hot.
Sakura snapped her eyes open.
Her father's voice wasn't hot...
"I'll tell her," the voice resumed slowly. "Alright. I'll make sure to give her the message. Oh, I'm her roommate for now."
My roommate? I have a roommate...?
Then reality hit her.
"God, you're finally awake!" the brown head said exasperatedly. "By the way, your sister-in-law asked me to remind you that your father is coming home today."
Oh, yeah. I almost forgot that Otou-san is coming home today.
Sakura suddenly remembered that she had to pick her father up from the airport that afternoon... but how was she going to get a ride? If she had gotten a car for her birthday like she had asked, she wouldn't have any problems, would she?
"Are you feeling okay?"
Sakura just stared at the guy. Something about the picture didn't look right to her. Something wasn't right about that morning...
She quickly glimpsed around the room. All her things were the same. Nothing changed. So what didn't belong there this morning?
"Helloooo?" Her eyes found their way back to the guy standing in the middle of the room with his pink-and-red hearts boxer.
Blink. Blink.
"PERVERT!" she grabbed the pillow and hit him as hard as she could. "GET OUT! GET OUT! GET OUT!!"
"I'm getting! I'm getting!" Syaoran screamed in pain, running away as fast as he could. "I didn't do anything!"
"PERVERT!" Sakura screamed one more time before slamming her door shut. "Stay out from now on!"
The nerve of that guy! Argh! Wait—does this mean he saw me while I was...?
Oh, god... Please don't let me said anything stupid in my sleep.
zZz
"Good morning, sunshine."
Sakura scowled as she came into the living room. "Nothing is good with you around."
"Look. The phone rang. I answered. You didn't get up. I didn't do anything."
"Uh-huh." Sakura rolled her eyes. "Who knows what you did when I was sleeping."
She ignored him and walked over to the kitchen, surprised to find a plate of scrambled eggs sitting on the counter.
Did he—?
"I hope you like scrambled eggs," he said from the couch.
Sakura was surprised by his act of kindness. "Uhm... thanks."
She just somewhat stared at the plate in front of her, not sure if she should eat it or not. What if he poisoned it to get back at her for what happened yesterday? He didn't decide to live with her so he could have the opportunity to kill her, did he?
Oh God...
"I didn't poison it to kill you."
Sakura snapped out of her thoughts. "Erm... what?"
"I am not trying to kill you or anything."
Is he psychic or something?
"And I'm not psychic," he said. "You're just easy to read like an open book."
Okay... that's just freaky.
Bet you don't know what I'm thinking right now. Sakura smiled and poked at the scrambled eggs with a fork.
"Actually I do." Syaoran grinned. "You're thinking that Li Syaoran is a sexy beast."
Beast... yes. Sexy...?
Sakura looked at the other guy from the corner of her eye. Chocolate brown hair, amber eyes, tan skin, toned muscles—CRAP! He was a sexy beast. She hated to admit it, but he was one of the few very good-looking guys she had ever seen in her entire life. Now, don't get her wrong. She had seen many good-looking guys, but not all of them were—how would you put this? Erm... Let's just say Li Syaoran beat three-quarter of those guys by a gap as wide as the distance between the Atlantic Ocean and the Pacific Ocean. Of course, she couldn't let him know that she thought he was 'sexy', or else she would never hear the end of it.
"Oh, please. You're anything but sexy!"
Nice cover, Sakura. That should do it. Yup. You are brilliant!
"I'm anything but sexy?" Sakura feared the look in his eyes. Oh, crap. What was he going to say next? Why did he turn around all of a sudden to look at her with that look in his eyes? The look that said 'Oh, you're going to regret saying those words'. The evil, conniving look on his face caused Sakura to chew the scrambled eggs in her mouth nervously. "Are you also saying that I am... fuckable?"
Sakura put a hand over her mouth to stop the mushy scrambled eggs from flying out. She turned to glare at him in disgust, but he only gave her a look that said 'You only brought this upon yourself'. She sighed reluctantly. She guessed she did bring the situation on herself. She knew better to choose her words carefully whenever she was around him. That man was unbelievable!
He was born with the gift to turn something perfectly normal into something utterly perverted and twisted in the mind.
"I hope you're not going to be like this all day long," said Sakura, forcing herself to swallow the mush in her mouth. "Dealing with your perverted comments isn't part of my job."
"Perverted?" He turned around to look at her again. "Me? I haven't even said a single thing that's perverted! It's your mind, Sakura, that's thinking on its own."
"That comment you just made!" Sakura argued.
"The one about me being fuckable?" he asked.
"Yes. And don't use that word ever again!"
He smirked and got up from the couch.
"What are you...?" Sakura slowly backed up against the stove as he approached her. "Don't get any closer!"
Within the blink of an eye, Sakura was trapped between the stove and Syaoran's body. He didn't show any indications of letting her go any time soon since he had firmly positioned himself in front of her. He held her waist with one of his hands and slowly brushed her cheek with the other hand. Sakura felt her breaths getting heavier and her heart was beating faster than normal rate. The distance between them was shrinking slowly and his face was merely centimeters away from hers.
"I'm only stating the facts. Don't tell me you don't find me..." the scent of his breath brushed her nose imperceptibly. "...irresistible."
Coffee and cream.
Sakura gathered all of her willpower and jammed her knee where it would hurt him most. She watched him let out a loud 'Fuck!' and crouched down on the floor, holding himself in pain. "I warned you," she said.
"Are you trying to stop me from reproducing or something!?" Syaoran started rolling on the floor. "Oh... god."
Sakura knelt down beside him. "Does it hurt a lot?" she poked him on the side.
"You try carrying an extra weight between your legs and let me kick it."
Sakura felt bad. "It was your fault," she said and stood up slowly. "Well, I'm going to go take a shower."
She turned to look at him again. His head lay between his knees and his hands desperately held that area. She felt really guilty. She didn't think she had kneed him that hard... did she? If she did, then she didn't mean to. It was an accident.
Sakura finished her shower about half an hour later. She walked back out into the living room and found Syaoran where she had last left him, sprawled over the floor, moaning in pain. Did it really hurt that much to be hit in that area?
How bad could it be?
Apparently, it was really bad.
"I'll go get the mail," she said. "Do you want me to get yours too?"
"Uh-huh," his voice was coarse and achy. Was he crying? She asked herself as she closed the door behind her.
Sakura decided that Syaoran was a weak man. After all, she had kicked Touya so many times in that area whenever he would pick on her, but he didn't crouch down on the floor and cry. Touya would just punch Sakura hard in the chest, and she would huddle in a little corner and—Ohh... so that's what it feels like to be hit down there.
"Good morning," Yue greeted her at the main lobby. "Do you have any problems today?"
"Do I always have a problem?" Sakura asked, wondering what he'd even meant by that. He sounded as though she always bothered him with a problem. It wasn't like she had a problem every day.
Yue shrugged. "You tell me."
Sakura quickly grabbed her mails from her mailbox. "Yue, what's Syaoran's combination?"
"You're getting his mails?"
"He's having a problem right now." Sakura smiled weakly.
"His birthday," the guy replied, "Zero-seven-one-three."
"July 13th?" Sakura said. "What kind of cornball puts his birthday as his combination anyway?"
Yue snorted. "You should be talking, Miss New Year. Zero-one-zero-one."
"Hey! It's easy to remember!" Sakura retorted, trying to hide her embarrassment. It was easy to remember.
Sakura decided that all guys were a meanie-butt. First, it was Touya, then Eriol, then Syaoran, and now Yue, too. What did she ever do to them? Why were they always so mean to sweet little her? She was harmless!
Her eyes nearly popped out when she opened Syaoran's mailbox. "Did he even get his mails in the last fifty years?!" She scolded, wondering how she was going to carry that many mails up nine flights of stairs.
"Those are his mails in one day."
"You're kidding right?" Sakura rolled her eyes. "What are they... love mails?"
"Actually, they are."
Sakura scoffed. "Does he even read them?"
"Here." Yue handed her a plastic bag.
"Thanks," said Sakura, relieved that she didn't have to haul the stupid mails in her arms. "By the way, can I ask for your advice?"
The older man gave her a strange look. "It's not about 'that time of the month', is it?"
"O-Of course not!"
He sighed. "Okay, what is it?"
"How does a guy ease up the pain when he gets hit in that area?" she asked shyly.
Yue just stared at her for a moment before laughing his ass out. "You hit him there!?"
Five minutes later...
Yue was still laughing like there was no tomorrow. Sakura sighed and walked towards the staircase, ignoring the idiot. He didn't even give her any advice on the matter. Now she was going to have to deal with Syaoran once she got back to the apartment, and worse... she was going to have to apologize.
Oh, Kami-sama, kill me now.
"Syaoran, look I got your—"
He was gone.
She supposed it was a good thing that he wasn't sprawled over the floor in pain. But where in world was that man? She had to apologize to him. Otherwise, she would feel guilty all day long, and she hated that feeling!
She dropped the mails on the table.
"Syaoran?" She knocked on the bathroom door. "Syaoran?"
"Go away, Sakura."
"Aww, don't be like that!" Sakura said. "I just came to apologize."
"Okay. Apology accepted."
"Are you okay?" she asked. It didn't sound like he was taking a shower, and there wasn't any other sound in the bathroom either. Sakura put her ears to the door and listened quietly for any sort of movement from the inside. He wasn't committing suicide, was he?
Why would he want to commit suicide anyway? Just because she might have damaged his equipment to reproduce, he could still have sex. Sex without the risk of having childrenhow many men would want to be in his shoes! He shouldn't want to commit suicide for that. He should be thanking her!
"Shit!" She heard a loud curse on the other side.
"Syaoran, what are you doing in there?" Sakura asked and knocked on the door again. "You're not doing anything stupid, are you? I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean to kick you that hard, but it was partly your fault for coming on to me like that. You know how I am. I get jumpy easily, and then I panic. When I panic—"
"Sakura, not now."
"'Kay, we'll talk when you get out."
Just when she was turning to walk away, she heard a very familiar tune coming from inside the bathroom. Why was her cell phone in the bathroom? Oh, that was right. She brought it in there when she was taking her shower to call her aunt. She must have left it in there after she took her shower.
"Sakura, your damn cell phone is getting on my nerves!"
Moron's instinct took over her body. She pushed the bathroom door open and walked in as if it was nothingthe surprising part was that the door wasn't even locked.
"Sorry, I must've forgotten it in here this morning," she quickly grabbed her cell phone. "Are you feeling any better...?”
What she should have done was to grab her cell phone and quickly run out of the bathroom, but noooooo—she just had to turn and look at him.
Blink. Blink.
Why was he sitting on the toilet with his pants off, and his hands on his—?
"Oh, Kami-sama."
Luckily for Sakura, the carpet was soft so she didn't damage her head when she fainted.
Note to self: If a guy tells you to go away when he's alone in the bathroom, he meant: DO NOT COME IN.
zZz
Sakura slowly opened her eyes.
"Hey, you okay?" Syaoran's face was hovering a few inches above hers. "You went out like a light bulb."
I did...?
It took a few seconds for everything to come back to her. She was standing outside the bathroom, then her cell phone rang, she went in to get it, and she saw him doing stuff. Oh, God. The sight of ungodliness had tainted her eyes. Fathers above, please forgive her for the turpitude the evil bastard bestowed upon her pure, innocent eyes.
"You sick, sick man!" she growled at him.
"I was not jacking off!" He defended himself.
"Then what were you doing in my bathroom!?" Sakura demanded for an explanation. How dare he jack off in her bathroom! Now she would have to clean it before using it again.
"Examining myself after the damage you inflicted on my poor body," he replied in a monotone voice as if he was saying 'DUH!' to her face.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yes," he groaned and rubbed his temples slowly. "You sound like it was the first time you've seen a guy's—"
Sakura quickly looked away. It was her first time seeing that. He started laughing. "I don't see what's so funny," she said; irritated that she was treated this way. She didn't see why she had to be laughed at just because she was still in her little pod. It just showed that she had morals and integrity... Dang. She was truly pathetic.
Okay. Sakura, you are not normal. She told herself. Normal girls do not stand and think to themselves when a guy is laughing his ass in front of them because she's still a virgin.
He finally calmed down a little. "Okay. Okay. Sorry," he was now chuckling. "Since you've never seen a you-know-what, I take it that you've never had sex either."
Sakura just glared at him.
"You're still a virgin!?" Could he scream it any louder?
Thank the Lord they were the only ones living on that floor. And was it such a surprise to him that she was a virgin? Did he think that she had probably slept with fifty different guys or something like that?
"Wow. I've never met a virgin before," he mused quietly to himself.
Okay, just what is his problem?
Really... What normal guy would stand in front of a girl and say to himself that he had never met a virgin before? Li Syaoran was not a normal guy.
"Your boyfriends never pressured you?" he continued to ask.
Sakura looked away again, hiding her embarrassment. Why was she even having this conversation with the man? Why were they discussing her love relationship all of a sudden, when they should be discussing why he didn't bother to lock the freaking door?
"How old are you again?"
"21," she replied shortly.
"And you've never had a boyfriend?"
"I never said I never had a boyfriend!" Sakura retorted.
He raised his eyebrow with interest. "Oh, how many?"
C'mon, Sakura. It's not that hard to come up with a stupid number!
He laughed.
"Shut up! It's none of your business!" Sakura stood up and pushed him away. She grabbed her purse off the chair, and stormed out of the apartment.
"Sakura!" He called out after her.
"I don't want to talk to you any more. Go away, you meanie-butt!"
Okay, so maybe that wasn't the mature way to handle the situation, but honestly... what did you expect from her?
"Don't you mean my sexy butt?"
Sakura turned around to glare at him. "You are so immature!"
He snorted. "You should be talking," he mumbled under his breath. "Look, I was just asking. How was I supposed to know you're so touchy about people knowing about your love life? ... or your zero love life."
She scolded at him before walking away again. "Stop following me!"
"I'm not following you," he grinned. "We just happen to walk in the same direction."
Oh, she would do anything to get away from him at that moment—anything. Therefore, she did something she never thought she would do: Sakura got into the elevator without thinking about her action. She just wanted to get away from him, far away from him—as far away as possible. Unfortunately, he slid into the elevator just before it closed.
"Hi, again," he said to her, smiling ever so cutely. "We were meant to be, I tell you."
Sakura scowled and turned away from him. "Don't talk to me."
"Don't be like this!"
And at that moment, God, being the kind and giving man that he was, decided to make miracles happen. The elevator stopped moving.
On the other hand, maybe it was just the fact that Syaoran did a lousy job on fixing the darn contraption. Whichever reason it was, the conclusion was still the same: they were stuck in the elevator until Yue decided to get his lazy ass up and fix the darn thing.
"I'm a little busy right now," the silver haired man said when Syaoran called him for help. "I'll tell the maintenance guy to come and get you two out after the movie marathon is over."
Syaoran smacked himself in the face. "Yue... I'm your damn maintenance guy."
"Is that you, Syaoran?!" the man laughed. "I'll figure something out after the movie marathon."
And with that, he hung up.
"Oh, god..." Sakura groaned. She pulled out her cell phone and decided to call Tomoyo. "Hey, can you do me a huge favor? Pick Otou-san up from the airport for me.” She turned to give Syaoran a dangerous look. "I have to deal with the devil at the moment. Thanks. Bye-bye."
Sakura cursed her stupid luck, yet again. Oh, Kami-sama... could the day get any better?
"This won't happen next time," he turned to say to her sweetly, "I promise."
Next time?
There was going to be a 'next time'?
Over her dead body.
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