Heir to the Kingdom- Chapter Sixteen

Chapter 16

‘the decision’

For a long moment, there was no sound. Only a profound and shocked silence, while Sakura stared at Li in utter disbelief.

“What?” she finally said.

“It’s time for me to go,” he said again, in a low voice. “It’s been two days. You don’t need me anymore. I have to go home.”

The look on her face was every bit as painful to see as he feared it would be. He could not look her in the eyes and fixed his gaze on the table instead. The only other person in the study was Touya, and he watched the other two with bated breath.

- - - - - -

It had been a hectic couple of days. Confused and upset by the attacks of the Sun Guardian and the King’s Own, the soldiers had been demoralized. It didn’t take long for the news to spread that the bodies of both Blackstock and Gorrell had been found, and the men weren’t sure who to turn to for leadership. Eventually they all just retired to their quarters and waited for orders - or punishment. With Eriol’s help, Touya isolated those officers who had actively helped plan the overthrow and arrested them to await trial. The lower-ranked soldiers were pardoned and dispersed over the countryside to carry news of the change in leadership to the remote corners of Hapeynia. The atmosphere of the palace was still tense, but the remaining King’s Own and Kero were split between the royal children and practicing extra vigilance. They were determined that nothing would ever hurt one of the Kinomotos again.

One of those bodyguards was Li, dressed in the dark green and black uniform of the guard and watching over Sakura constantly. She had hardly let him out of her sight, insisting even that they sleep together. Touya had fussed a little, but she had quelled him with one look. And so for two nights she fell asleep in his arms, the only place she felt safe, on the floor of her bedroom with the balcony doors open. It was too soon, she explained, to try and sleep in a bed again; it felt too comfortable. Li didn’t care. It was enough for him to stay awake at nights and watch her face in the moonlight as she dreamt peacefully. He wanted to memorize that face, burn it into his mind so that he could carry the image of her forever in his heart. Because he was leaving.

“Why?” she whispered. “Why would you – why would you do this to me?” She rose from the chair and took a hesitant step toward him. Li had to swallow.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Sakura, you know that. But I can’t stay here. It can’t go on like this.”

“You have to stay,” she pleaded. “Li, I need you. I can’t do this without you.”

“You can. You and your brother are doing an amazing job of retaking the kingdom under your control; I told you that you were strong. You were born for this. And I can’t help you anymore. This isn’t my strength.”

She was shaking her head as he spoke.

“Li, you have to be here. You’re the only one I feel safe with. I need you to protect me.”

“You have Kero, and the rest of the King’s Own. You’ll be fine.”

“Fine?” she repeated, her voice cracking. “I don’t want to be ‘fine’. I want to be with you. I love you!”

“Sakura,” he murmured. She was close enough to reach out and touch, and he brushed a hand over her cheek. “I love you more than anything, and this is breaking my heart. But I can’t stay here. I’m a peasant, and you’re trying to put the pieces of your kingdom back together. You can’t be seen with me; I’m a liability. And I refuse to get in the way of the responsibilities in your life.”

She was starting to cry now, and a fat tear ran down her cheek and onto his fingers. He pulled his hand away and tasted it. He had known all along, that this was how it would end. He had resisted, but it had happened anyway. And now he was paying the price. This was more bittersweet than anything he could have predicted.

“Stay anyway,” she sobbed. “Be my bodyguard, become the new instructor for the King’s Own classes, do anything. You said yourself that the palace felt more like home than your own cabin. It’s been burned, Li, there’s nothing left for you back there. This is where you’re needed. This is where you’re important. Please… this is where I need you.”

Li had to clench his fists as he dredged up every bit of willpower and self-control that he possessed.

“I can’t,” he choked. “I can’t live like that, Sakura, and I know you can’t either. I can’t see you everyday without wanting to be with you. Just being in the same room with you…”

Unconsciously he took a step closer, inhaling deeply. He wanted to remember her scent too, remember the feel of her in his presence. Her merely standing before him was intoxicating.

“You know we’ll never be strong enough to stay apart. This is the way it has to be.” He took one last look and then turned and lay his hand on the doorknob.

“No!” she cried. Panicking, she slapped the Lock Card down on the wooden desk. Li pushed at the knob, but it wouldn’t give. He did not turn around, but addressed her in a low voice.

“You can’t, Sakura. You can’t keep me here the way the General tried to keep you. That’s not how it works.”

“I know,” she sobbed, but did not open the doors. Instead she started to cry harder. “But I also know that I love you, and I can’t go on without you. I’ve lost too much already. You have to be in my life, and I don’t care what price needs to be paid. If I have to leave the palace and live with you in your cabin, then that is what I will do. Just please don’t turn around and leave me again.”

Li’s eyes widened and he turned around at her unexpected offer. But his reaction was nothing compared to Touya’s.

“What?” he yelped, speaking up for the first time. “Sakura, no! I will absolutely not let you do that!” He jumped out of his chair and vaulted over the desk to stand by her.

“You know you can’t keep me here, Touya. You’d never have a chance.”

Her calm deliberation frightened her brother more than her frantic crying. Once before, he had been sure that he would never see his sister again. If she left now, of her own volition, she might never come back.

“Sakura, no,” he whispered. “You can’t leave. You can’t leave me to do this all on my own. You’re the only family I have left.”

She sniffled and wiped away her tears, noting the fear in his eyes. She didn’t want to leave him either. He was her older brother, and she loved him.

“I’m sorry, Touya. But if I have to then I will.”

Miserable peasant, Touya thought. I hate you. But he didn’t say anything aloud, just wrapped his sister in a tender embrace and rested his chin on the top of her head.

“What’s it going to be, kid?”

The prince gave Li a sullen glare, but the younger man didn’t see it, too busy watching Sakura cry in her brother’s arms. He couldn’t believe what she was ready to give up, just to be with him.

“True love,” Tomoyo had said to him the evening before, “is knowing happiness when your loved one knows happiness. Think about it hard, Li, before you come to any decision. I know you’ll make the right choice.”

He was having trouble holding back tears too, now, as he watched his precious Sakura cry. He loved her more than life itself. He didn’t want to her to cry.

“I’ve made a lot of bad decisions in my life,” he said softly. She opened her eyes and looked at him, though she didn’t move. “Deciding to help you hide in that tree may have been one of them. It’s opened up kinds of pain I didn’t even know existed.”

She was silent, trembling.

“But the worst thing I ever did was to abandon my mother. I closed my eyes to her suffering and walked away. It’s in the past; I can’t do anything about it anymore. But you can believe, Sakura, that I won’t make the same mistake again.”

There was a flicker of hope in her watering green eyes.

“I don’t care what happens. I don’t care how hard it is. I’m not leaving your side.”

With a final sob she broke away from her brother’s hold and flew into his arms, laughing and crying with relief. Li felt ready to collapse, he hadn’t realized how much he was dreading his departure.

Think of what I almost walked out on. Think of what I almost lost forever.

He clutched at her a little harder, but he didn’t really feel secure until his mouth had found hers and they were lost in the kiss.

This was his princess. And nothing would ever come between them again.

Not even the kingdom.
THE END

Disclaimer: I do not own these characters