Chapter 4
‘the lessons’
Her bed felt so much harder than usual. Sakura stirred and opened her eyes, drowsily taking in the scene of the clearing. At every waking she was forced to remember it all over again. She was not in her bed back in the palace suites; she would probably never see that bed again.
Beside her on the grass, Tomoyo and Kero were both curled up and sleeping. Raising her head, Sakura could see that there was no one by the fire. Had Li decided to walk away after all? Would he really do that?
She crawled through the opening of the tent and stood to stretch. First reaching up to the morning sky, then doubled over to place her hands on the grass. When she straightened, Li was by the treeline, watching her.
His gaze was so intense, and she flushed. Should she say anything? What was she supposed to say? Good morning?
“Um, hi.”
“Hi,” he said shortly, and crossed the clearing in long strides. He dumped a few fish on a flat rock and knelt to blow on their banked fire. Sakura noticed that his hair was wet, and that his skin was pink and glowing.
“Is there, um, a place to wash up near here?” He didn’t look up, but raised his arm to point.
“Straight through those trees.”
He was slicing at the fish with his knife now, splitting them open lengthwise. There hadn’t been a mark on them before that, and she wondered if he’d caught them with his bare hands.
“Thank you,” she said softly, and turned to go. Li watched her shoulders slump a little as she walked away, and felt a touch of guilt. It couldn’t go on like this, no matter what her father had done.
“Wait.”
“Yes?”
“Here.” He snatched a few roots that he’d dug up earlier, lying by the fire. “Take this.”
“What is it?”
“It’s soaproot.” He pressed them into her hands without quite meeting her eyes. “Pound them between two rocks and you’ll get a sudsy lather. It’s not like the soap you’re used to, I’m sure, but you’ll manage.”
“Oh.” She’d never heard of such a plant, but she was intrigued. “Thank you.”
“Don’t mention it.” He returned his attention to the fish, signaling the end of the conversation. Taking his meaning literally, Sakura backed away silently and left the clearing.
He’s hurting, I’m sure of it. And I know he doesn’t believe me about my father. But he’s not going to walk out on me, at least. Thank the gods for that.
She’d only been walking for a few minutes when she heard the creek in front of her. It had been so long since she’d been able to get really clean, and happily she surveyed the clear water running over stones. There were some traces of white foam on a rock with a shallow basin shape to it, where Li had doubtlessly performed his ablutions. Hesitantly she picked up a round stone and began to pound at the roots, leaving some for Tomoyo. Sure enough, a sudsy lather emerged, a substance that felt and smelled a little like the lye soap she was used to, if slightly more abrasive.
Wow. That’s amazing. I can’t believe I never even heard of this.
Enthusiastically she stripped off her clothing and jumped in the water. The cold made her gasp, but it felt so good to rinse off all the travel grime. Luxuriating in the feel of the water, Sakura rubbed her body with as much of the foam as she could extract from the roots, scrubbing her scalp viciously. It felt wonderful, but she found herself blushing again as she climbed out and sat on a boulder to dry. She was picturing Li here, bathing too, and wondering how he looked when he –
No. Don’t think about that. You can’t let yourself be distracted by such improper things, you’ve got other things to worry about. Like how you’re going to get inside the palace and find the Cards. Extremely tricky things to figure out. You definitely do not have time to be thinking about… that…
By the time she’d dried off enough to pull on her clothes, filthy and repellant though they were, Li had finished cooking breakfast. Wordlessly he handed her a blackened and peeling fish skewered on a sharp stick when she returned to the clearing.
“Thank you.” She really wasn’t sure how to eat it, but she watched him peel off the skin and tear off strips with his teeth.
“Tomoyo? Tomoyo, it’s time to wake up.” She knelt by the tent to shake her friend awake. “Come on, Kero, you too. Breakfast is ready.”
“This can’t go on,” Li muttered, staring at his fish.
“What can’t?” Tomoyo’s eyes fluttered open, and she yawned and stretched.
“This diet. Too much meat and fish. On a diet of pure proteins we’ll slowly starve. But it’s so early in the season; there’s just not much that is ready to eat.” Frustrated, he glared at the flowering trees around them. Sakura thought they looked beautiful, but he was right. There was definitely nothing edible there.
“I wish I knew more about finding food,” she murmured. “I’d like to help.”
“Do you just wish?”
“Hmm?”
Li was staring at her from across the fire, his expression unreadable. “Or do you really want to know?”
“Uh, I really want to know.” She lifted her chin a little in response to his challenge. “Show me. I really want to know how.”
“Okay. Pay attention.” And as they ate, he pointed to every plant in the clearing, reciting what it was and what it could be used for, either nutritionally or medicinally, and when it was in season. Sakura absorbed as much as she could, repeating everything back to him, trying to remember it all. She watched him fold up the tent and scatter the rocks he’d used to anchor it, and she watched him bury the bones from their fish and douse and bury the fire, until it seemed as though no one had ever been to the clearing at all.
When Tomoyo returned from the creek after her bath, he was showing her how to walk through the underbrush without leaving broken branches. Tomoyo had to smile at Sakura’s little pout of concentration. She was trying so hard, so desperate to be helpful. And Li was not the most patient of teachers.
But at least it’s something to distract her, and keep her mind off the grief.
She exchanged a knowing look with Kero and fell in with the pair. She would have to learn too, after all.
- - - - - - -
The General paced slowly down the row of cells in the dungeon. He’d counted twice; there was no mistaking. Any man of the King’s Own that had not been killed in the attack was right there in front of him, in chains. He came to a stop outside the captain’s cell.
“Good morning, Raoul.”
“What do you want?”
“Just to chat. I’m having a bit of a problem, and I thought maybe you could help me out.”
“Traitor.”
“Now, now, captain. I just want to have a civil discussion, ask you a few questions.” Captain Blacken glared sullenly at him from his position on the floor.
“I don’t have anything to say to you.”
“We’ll see about that.”
- - - - - - - -
Li paused to crouch and slice a mushroom neatly off its stalk with his knife. He held it up for Sakura’s inspection.
“Can we eat this?”
“Umm…” Sakura bit her lip as she stared hard at the little fungus. “Y...es?”
Li blew his bangs out his face and rolled his eyes. “You’ve just killed us. Congratulations. Look, I told you, these ribs on the underside are too far apart. Poisonous, see?”
“I see,” Sakura huffed. “But it’s really hard to tell when I don’t have the right mushroom to compare it to!”
“Tough. You have to do it anyway.” He tossed the mushroom over his shoulder and continued on his way. Sakura gave Tomoyo an exasperated look and followed.
“I am trying, you know. But there’s a lot of information you’re throwing at me.”
“You said you wanted to learn.”
“I do. But you could try to be a little more patient.”
“You can’t eat patience for dinner.”
“Well, excuse me. It’s not my fault that I grew up in the palace. My mother grew flowers in our gardens. What am I supposed to do?”
“Learn. Adapt.”
“Well, I’m doing the best I can,” she snapped. “I’ve got a lot on my mind, you know. Like- like wondering how I’m going to get inside the palace and to my Cards so I can deal with the General. Someone has to take him out of power.”
“Why?”
“What?” She halted in surprise.
He turned around to give her a searching look. “I said, why?”
“Why does he have to be taken out of power?”
“Yes.”
“Because he’s a terrible man. He’s hurting people.”
“He’s hurting your brother. Doesn’t make him a bad ruler.”
“Um…” Sakura felt a little lost as Li’s eyes bored into her, full of challenge. Tomoyo and Kero were watching her too, waiting to see what she said. What exactly did make the General a worse leader than her father?
“The soldiers. That’s why he can’t be allowed to lead.”
Li crossed his arms. “What do you mean?”
“Well, my father always said that the royal family and the army were servants of the people, and not the other way around. He insisted that the soldiers hold themselves to the standards of lawfulness that we applied to everybody. They were never allowed to take things, or threaten people without just cause.” She had heard this lecture from her father many times over her life, and she was starting to warm to the topic.
“Under the law, no soldier could enter a home without a warrant for arrest. A man accused of a crime had to have a chance to defend himself to his village before the army could mete out any punishment. And unlike his ancestors, my father refused to use his power to persecute those who disagreed with him. He always said that it was the mark of a strong ruler if he could convince and persuade people, rather than force him to do his bidding. Nikolai Gorrell is allowing his soldiers to run amok in the countryside. You’ve seen them, how they’re taking things without paying for them and bullying and threatening my people. That’s why he has to be stopped.”
She lifted her chin and gave him a triumphant look.
“Convincing,” Li said mildly. “But not totally true.” He turned and started walking again. Sakura hurried to keep pace with him, Tomoyo tailing them both.
“What are you talking about?”
“You think the soldiers held themselves to the law of the land? Do you know it? Are you sure?”
“Well, I - ”
“Some did. A lot didn’t. You and your father weren’t out supervising them in the villages; I’m sure I would have noticed you in Brookside. So how do you know they were following the rules?”
He glanced over to her, and she melted a little under his hard gaze. “I don’t.”
“Didn’t think so.” He was walking faster, Sakura was pushing herself to keep up with him.
“But- be reasonable! It’s impossible to supervise every soldier in every village in all the kingdom! How could we?”
“You don’t. This does.” Li tapped the pendant under his shirt. “The rules your father set for the soldiers are just words. Words never scared no one. But a blade, that gets respect. Soldiers in a town full of commoners with swords would obey your father’s rules.”
“But, everyone with a sword?” Sakura panted. “That’s so dangerous! So many people could hurt others!”
“Right. Because your general’s soldiers haven’t been hurting anyone.”
“Er…” Once again Sakura was stumped. He grunted when she could offer no reply.
“How dare you, princess. You grew up in a home that was defended from dungeon to tower with well-armed, well-trained fighters. What about my father’s castle? Why was he denied the right to carry a sword to defend it? Isn’t it just as important as yours?”
She was almost jogging to keep up with his long strides, he was going so fast.
“But you said bandits attacked your home. Not soldiers.”
“Not much difference these days.”
“But they were vagrants. They shouldn’t have, um, they shouldn’t have attacked the cabin.” She felt stupid saying it, and flushed when he gave a contemptuous snort. “I mean, the soldiers should have defended your family and your home.”
“Sure. Hours away from the nearest village, why didn’t my father think of running for help? Silly him.”
He stopped, so suddenly that she almost crashed into him. Crouching, he sliced another mushroom off its stalk and held it out.
“Can we eat this?”
“Uh…” Sakura felt thrown off by the sudden change in conversation, and she stared hard at the ribs on the underside. “No.”
Li groaned and popped it in his mouth.
“Think hard, your highness. Think very hard about the laws under your father, and how ‘just’ they were.” He turned and began walking again, leaving her disconcerted and confused.
- - - - - -
“He’s about your height, or so I’m told, with brown hair and brown eyes. Is this ringing a bell?”
“You just described half the men of the kingdom,” Raoul gritted. Gorrell struck him across the face again, drawing a spurt of blood from the captain’s nose.
“Fairly young, the colonel says. Perhaps about the same age as the princess herself. And very, very well trained in the fighting techniques of the sword.”
“Why don’t you talk to the instructor? Oh, that’s right, you killed him. Traitor.”
“I’m only doing what has to be done. I can’t expect everyone to understand how necessary this is for the good of the kingdom.”
“I wouldn’t expect it anytime soon, no.” Gorrell turned away from his prisoner to face the rest of the guard, chained to the wall and watching helplessly as their captain faced torture.
“Anyone here ready to speak up? One of you must know who this man is. Just give me something, and I’ll stop. You don’t want to see him take any more of this, do you?” They all glowered at him, and he grinned. He hadn’t really been in the mood to stop hitting, anyway.
He jerked backwards and his elbow jabbed into the captain’s ribs. Raoul Blacken groaned and coughed up some blood, but his glare wasn’t weakening just yet.
“You’re wasting your time, General. I don’t know who this man is. Nobody does. Your precious colonel is mistaken.”
“You don’t mistake a thing like that sword, captain. This man is from your squad, and I want to know who he is. I won’t stop when you’re dead. I’ll just move on to the next man, and then the next, and then the next. I’ll kill your whole damn company if I have to!”
“Bring it on,” Raoul spat, and the General raised his fist.
“Wait.” Both of them turned to see one of the company straightening, pulling at his chains to sit forward. “Stop.”
“Yes?”
“I don’t know anything…”
“Stand down, Jackson,” the captain ordered, but the General was intrigued. He stepped away from Blacken to crouch thoughtfully in front of the prisoner.
“Sorry, cap, but I’m not going to watch you die.” His subordinate should not have spoken up, but he was no coward and glared coolly at the general. “It’s just a rumor.”
“Please, go ahead. I’m interested in rumors.”
“The boy last year… the student that saved the king from the attacker in the spring parade.” The General had been at that parade, though further back from the royal family. He hadn’t witnessed the incident himself.
“What about him?”
“He disappeared a few weeks later. Nobody ever saw him again.” The General’s pulse quickened.
“Who was he? What family was he from?”
Jackson shook his head. “That was the rumor. There was no family. Supposedly, he was a commoner who paraded as a noble.”
Raoul and Gorrell both frowned. He remembered that incident too, now, that promising young student that he had so looked forward to adding to the guard once he graduated. He’d never realized what happened to him. But if he was free… and if he was truly aiding the princess and thwarting the traitor, then they had a duty to protect him as if he was one of their own. Noble or not.
“A peasant pretending above his class,” Gorrell echoed in disbelief. “Some people just don’t know their place in life. And now this little upstart wants to come between me and what’s mine? Tell me his name.”
Raoul held his breath, but Jackson was no fool. Casually he shrugged.
“I don’t know. I don’t remember.”
“Are you sure?” Lazily the General drew his knife and pressed the point into his neck.
“Nobody knows it, General,” Raoul snapped. “You poisoned Wei like the coward you are, and the men from that class were on duty when you attacked. There’s no record of him now, and you have only yourself to blame.” Gorrell tapped the knife thoughtfully on Jackson’s chin before nodding and standing up to face Blacken.
“Doesn’t matter, captain. I know enough. He’s only one man, and, as we all know here, the men of the King’s Own are not so immortal as some people think. I don’t care who I have to go through to get my hands on that girl, I don’t care who trained him and what kind of weapons he carries. I won’t let anyone stand in my way.” He turned on his heels and left the dungeon.
- - - - - -
“Okay,” Sakura admitted. “It wasn’t perfect. No system of government is. My father tried very hard, you know. He wanted to change things, erode class distinctions. It was his mission to spread education to the far corners of the kingdom, until every person from peasant on up could read and write. He loved to read, and history was his passion. He wanted everybody to be educated.”
Li glanced up at the evening sky. It was getting dark, they should make camp. In the dark it was too easy to leave a trail that would be highly visible the next day. He began to pull the folded tent off of Sakura’s back.
“So the people of the kingdom could read poetry to bandits that were attacking them?”
“It was a start. People that can read and write can better themselves, and make their wishes known to their ruler.”
“Or, the ruler can just leave them the hell alone and let them take care of their own business. With swords to protect themselves.”
“Li, it’s been a law for hundreds of years that no commoner may- ”
“And for hundreds of years, we’ve died because of it.” Sakura clammed up when he shot a scathing glare her way. “And I think, your highness, that you’re pretty damned grateful I broke that law. Or would you rather be on your way to the palace right now?”
“No,” she mumbled.
“Thought so.” Li spread out their tent and pointed to Tomoyo. “You. Get some rocks for the edge.”
“Don’t order her around like that.”
“I thought we all knew that I was in charge of this little company. Certainly neither of you know what you’re doing.” He started scouting for firewood in the underbrush. He could break off branches from the tree if he had to, but that was a last resort. Broken branches left a trail.
“It’s okay, Sakura,” Tomoyo said placidly. She knelt to pick up a heavy stone. “It doesn’t bother me.”
“Well, it should bother you.”
“Why?” Li gritted, as he hefted a thick, heavy stick. It would burn slowly, but thoroughly. “Afraid that somebody else can order your maid around besides you?”
“Huh?” Sakura gave him a puzzled look, then her expression cleared. “Oh. Tomoyo isn’t my maid.”
“What?” Li looked so surprised that she giggled.
“Can you imagine, Tomoyo? My very own personal maid?” Both girls were smiling now, and Kero was chuckling. Li felt a little lost.
“Tomoyo is my aide, my personal assistant,” Sakura explained. “We grew up together; she’s the one that keeps track of all the names and faces that I’m supposed to know at royal functions, but I never do. She usually dresses me for public occasions, too, she always knows exactly what’s appropriate.” She glanced warmly at her friend. “She even designed some of the dresses in my closet. She’s amazing.”
“Oh.” Li knelt and began to arrange the wood he’d gathered. “Pay attention now. There’s a certain way you construct a fire before you strike the first spark.” Sakura sat beside him on the grass and concentrated. “Why is the thought of a maid so amusing?”
“My father would have never allowed one,” she answered. “He always said it was important for a ruler to understand that they have to clean up their own messes. My brother and I have been responsible for keeping our palace bedrooms neat and clean for as long as I can remember. I don’t think a maid cleaned my parents’ suite either.”
Li arranged the kindling on top of the larger branches and frowned thoughtfully. Somehow, this revelation unsettled him. It wasn’t what he would have expected of royalty.
“Watch carefully.” He struck the flint against his pyrite, and a spark flew out. “That’s how it all begins. Now you try.” Clumsily she banged the rocks together, and nothing happened.
“What did I do wrong?”
“There’s a certain angle that it works best. Here.” He placed his hands over hers and guided them in the right motion. His hands were rough and callused, but oddly gentle as they covered hers and demonstrated the motion over and over again. She swallowed. “Got it?”
“I think so.” He let go and she struck it again, producing a lucky spark that flew onto the tinder. Quickly Li knelt and blew softly on it. The glow brightened, then dimmed as he pulled away.
“Now is the tricky stage. Now you have to give it just the right amount of oxygen. Lean down and blow on it, but softly.” She leaned forward obediently and blew very softly on it. Once again it brightened. “Now pull away. Okay, now blow again. Now pull away. Blow again.” Over and over he instructed her as the tiny light flickered uncertainly. She was beginning to feel light-headed with all the pressure when all the tinder suddenly burst into flame.
“Okay, that’s it. The flame’s caught hold of the fuel, and now it will spread to the kindling, and then the big wood. That’s what will burn slowly through the night.”
Red-faced, she sat up and away from the fire. “Goodness, that’s a lot of effort. You don’t do that every night, do you?”
“No, at home I banked my fire in the morning, and uncovered it at night. Not an option while traveling, though.”
The kindling was beginning to burn now. Sakura watched it proudly. She’d created fire dozens of times in her life with the snap of her fingers, but somehow this was more exciting. This time she’d done it all on her own, without any kind of magic at all. Well, almost on her own. She directed her smile at Li, who just looked away. Her smile faded.
None of this changes anything. He still hates my family for what happened to him. He’s only leading us away from his home so he can go back there and start again. I’m sure he can’t wait to unload us.
“We’ve started the fire,” she said softly. “Now what?”
“Now we have to find something to cook with it.” He picked up his bow and the quiver. “Do you think you’re up to learning how to track prey?”
“Of course. Tomoyo, Kero, you can both just sit tight if you want. This will be easier with fewer people.”
“Okay,” they both replied, a little too carefully neutral. She narrowed her eyes at Tomoyo’s face, but there was nothing behind that implacable calm.
“All right, then.” Li shoved the waterbags into Sakura’s hand. “You can fill these when we find some water. Stay behind me, keep absolutely silent, and if I tell you to freeze, then freeze. Got it?”
“I got it.”
“Good. Let’s go.” They headed into the dusky forest.
- - - - - -
The room was dark and quiet, lit by dozens of scattered candles. Light incense tickled Gorrell’s nose as he strode through the door. It was a room designed for meditation and introspection, a room totally unsuitable for the blustery impatience of the military.
“Where is she, old man? I grow tired of waiting.”
“Your desire for instant gratification is your undoing.” The withered old man seated on the floor gazed curiously into his crystals. “For years you patiently waited to overthrow the king and his family. At long last you have achieved your goal. Why such anxiety for one little girl?”
Gorrell paced on the hard marble floor. “Don’t waste my time with pointless questions. Why haven’t you been able to locate her?”
“Because she is becoming more clever. At long last she’s realized the danger of wielding magic, both her and the Sun Guardian. They are keeping their powers to themselves now. My scrying finds nothing.”
Those black eyes looked up from the crystals to focus on Nikolai’s face. “The pulse of the world of magic does not throb in time to your military deadlines, General Gorrell. Have patience.”
“Don’t you tell me to have patience,” the man snarled. “Nobody tells me what to do anymore, this is my kingdom. I rule. I control everything in this palace, and most of Hapeynia. You are alive because of me; you owe your existence to me. Don’t tell me to have bloody patience!” His sudden burst of temper had no effect on the mage.
“I will say what I wish, and I will seek when I wish.” He stood, his black robes hanging off his thin, warped shoulders. “I will accomplish nothing more tonight.”
He glided past the General, paying no attention to the reddening face of the larger man. He longed to strike that man, kill him with a single blow. But he needed his power and his abilities.
Nikolai was a man of the tangible world. Force, and physical combat, he understood. The mysterious realms of magic left a sense of dread in his stomach, he was afraid to tread there. But he had seen what magic could accomplish, had seen how it could aid him. And so he left the old magician alive.
For now.
- - - - - -
Sakura knelt by Li and tried to see the bent blades of grass he was pointing to. In the deepening dusk, it was difficult to see anything at all.
“Why are we hunting when it’s so difficult to see?”
“Because dusk is when the animals come out. They do that to avoid predators, because it’s difficult for the predators to see.”
“Oh.” That seemed logical, but Sakura thought it made things extremely difficult for the hunters. She adjusted the waterbags hanging over her shoulder and squinted in the fading light. “Are those the droppings over there?”
“Very good.” She glowed at the note of approval in his tone, but she couldn’t get cocky yet. They hadn’t even sighted their quarry yet, after all. Li was creeping over the ground now, silent as a zephyr of air. Sakura did her best to imitate him. After a moment, he raised his arm and pointed forward. She could just barely make out the outline of a crouching rabbit, trying to blend in with the bush. Li was raising the bow now, and she leaned forward to see how he aimed. But her legs were numb after so much crouching and crawling, and she lost her balance. The rabbit took flight as she crashed onto the earth, snapping several twigs.
Li made an exasperated noise, and she cringed.
“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to!”
“Don’t be sorry, damn it, just - ”
“I know, I know.” She climbed unsteadily to her feet and glared at him. “Don’t be sorry. Just be quiet. I’m doing the best I can!”
Li stood and was about to retort when a sound made him look up. Startled by all the sudden noise, a hawk took flight from a nearby tree and began climbing up into the sky. Instinctively he raised his bow and released the trigger. His aim was perfect, and the bird tumbled to the earth almost right in front of them.
“Excellent,” he declared. “Never mind the rabbit. Sometimes you just get lucky.” He drew his knife and dropped to his knees by the dead hawk. “Do you want to - ”
His words died on his lips as he glanced up at her face. She was staring at the fallen bird, trembling, her eyes wide with horror.
“The wings,” she whispered.
“What?”
“The wings… with the feathers… broken… dead…” She was beginning to hyperventilate, unable to tear her eyes away from the hawk. Its wings had gotten tangled in the fall, it was true, but Li couldn’t see what the tragedy was. Her breath was coming out in ragged gasps now, and she was backing away from him.
“Hey, are you all right?”
“The wings! Dead! He’s dead! He’s dead! He’s dead!” She put her hands to her head and began to scream frantically, over and over again.
“Hey, stop it! Calm down, already!” Li jumped to his feet and tried to reach for her hands, but she knocked him away. Her face was completely devoid of color now, eyes looking through him to someplace he couldn’t see.
“He’s dead! He’s dead! He’s dead!”
“Who’s dead?” She was beginning to sob now, and Tomoyo came bursting through the bushes at the noise.
“Sakura!” She glared at Li. “What did you do to her?”
“I didn’t do anything except shoot our dinner! I don’t know what she’s going on about.”
“The wings,” Sakura sobbed. “Oh, he’s gone. How can he be dead?” She crumpled to the ground and began to shake with the force of her tears. Something clicked in Tomoyo’s face, and she knelt by her princess, murmuring soothingly.
“Shhh… Sakura. You can’t do this. He’s gone now, and he wouldn’t want you to cry like this.”
Who on earth were they talking about?
Li backed away from the pair uncertainly.
“I can’t live without him, Tomoyo!” Her face was red now, and streaked with tears. She pounded the earth in desperation. “I can’t do it! I can’t go on… it’s too much!”
“Yes you can, Sakura. You’re strong, and you can keep going. You can do this. He wouldn’t want you to give up.”
“I can’t do it!”
“Yes, you can. I know you can. Your brother is hanging in the balance. You’ve got to be strong for him. You have to go back and get him, remember?”
Some of Tomoyo’s words penetrated at last, and Sakura’s sobs quieted. “I- I miss him so much…”
“I know you do. I do too. But you can’t give up. Nikolai wins if you do that, and we all know that he wouldn’t want that. He would want you to keep on fighting, and to rescue Touya, and to win. Isn’t that right?” Sakura nodded, tears still trickling down her cheeks.
“Now come on. Let’s get back to the camp. You’re going to be okay, I promise.” She pulled Sakura to her feet and moved to support her. “Time for you to lie down, I think.”
Nonplussed, Li picked up the hawk and followed them back to the clearing. Kero was still there, keeping an eye on things, and his mouth fell open when he saw them emerge from the trees.
“What’s happened?”
“Just a little bad memories cropping up,” Tomoyo said softly. She guided Sakura into the tent and used a little water from the bags to rinse her face. “Shh… everything is going to be okay. You’ll be fine. Just close your eyes, and think of nothing.”
Li caught himself yawning, so persuasive was Tomoyo’s low, sweet voice.
“Picture yourself in darkness, suspended in time and place. There is nothing but the soft darkness around you, enveloping you… blanketing you…” Sakura’s choking sobs died away and she closed her red and puffy eyes. The pain was so unbearable. She just wanted to forget it, be absorbed into oblivion. Tomoyo waited until her breathing was deep and even before letting go of her hand.
“Stay with her, would you, Kero?”
“Sure thing.” The little bear snuggled up to Sakura and Tomoyo crawled back to the fire, where Li was plucking feathers.
“What just happened?”
“Poor Sakura. She’s been in mourning for her parents for two weeks, but she hadn’t really allowed herself to think about his death just yet. She wasn’t ready to open up that pain. I guess seeing that hawk die was what brought it on.”
“Who?”
“Her guardian.”
“But I thought Kero was - ”
“There were two. Kero is the Sun Guardian. His partner, Yue, was the Moon Guardian. They were both destined to protect her and serve her as Mistress of the Cards.”
“What’s that got to do with a hawk, though?”
“Yue was a man, but he had wings too, like Kero. He was very powerful, commanded a lot of magic. Together the two of them protected Sakura, she had no need for human bodyguards.” She swallowed. “He died holding off the attackers so that Kero could carry her out the window to safety. She loved him so much.”
“She was in love with someone that wasn’t human?”
“Not exactly. It’s complicated.” She paused as she watched him brace the naked and gutted bird over the flames. “Yue didn’t possess his own body. He was inside a human being, an older boy named Yukito. Yukito was the Chosen One, the mortal vessel for Yue. He was always nearby, so Yue could watch over Sakura through his eyes. If the need arose, he would take over Yukito’s body.”
“You’re right. It is complicated.”
“Most people never saw Yue, they only saw Yukito, hanging about in the background. He was always around her, as long as I can remember. He was the same age as her brother, the prince, and they grew to be good friends when they underwent the training of the King’s Own together. The four of us, and Kero, were all very close. But she wasn’t supposed to love him.”
She sighed heavily as Li turned the spit.
“Poor Sakura. She knew how wrong it was, her being a princess and him the mortal vessel of Yue. She wasn’t supposed to fall in love with her own guardian. But she couldn’t help it. She never even really paid attention to the nobles and visiting royalty that courted her. Yukito was all that she could think about.”
Li stared into the fire. For some reason, this conversation was starting to bother him a little. Why on earth should he care about her dead bodyguard and whether she loved him or not?
“Did he love her back?”
Why had he asked that, of all things? He didn’t care!
“I don’t think so, no. She never got up the nerve to tell him how she felt. But I think he knew. I’m pretty good at reading people, like you said. He loved her very much like his little sister, was devoted to protecting her. But he didn’t love her like that, I’m sure of it. And now he’s gone. When Yue was killed, he died too. That’s how it works.”
Yukito had been a friend of hers too, and Tomoyo was starting to slide into a fit of depression. But she couldn’t afford the luxury of that right now, she had to be there for Sakura.
Li was looking at the sleeping girl in their tent. “Will she be all right?”
“I think so. She knows she has to go on. She needed this release, though, she couldn’t hold it in forever.”
“Uh-huh.” Li removed the hawk and sliced off a chunk of meat, handing it to the girl beside him. “You’re pretty devoted to her, aren’t you? You like to take care of her.”
“She’s my princess.”
“You don’t have to stick by her through all this, though.”
“You’re right. But I want to. She’s my best friend.” Tomoyo nibbled at her dinner. “I owe her and her mother everything, you know. If it wasn’t for the queen, who knows where I would be.”
“Where are your parents?”
She shrugged. “I don’t know about my father. Nobody knows who he was, except maybe the queen, but she’s dead now. My mother would never tell anyone who it was. She was a lady-in-waiting in the royal court, and it was quite the scandal. She was good friends with the queen, though, and her majesty would never hear a word against her. It was all too much, for my mother, though, knowing what everyone thought about it. The birth was very difficult for her and she died when I was just a few months old. Her majesty likes – liked – to tell me about her though. She promised my mother when she died that she would make sure I was all right. Not quite sure what else to do, she put me in the playpen with Sakura and raised the two of us together, like sisters. It was better that way, their majesties were always saying. They liked it that Sakura grew up with me, and that the prince was such good friends with Yukito. They didn’t want their children growing up thinking that they were ever too good for anybody.”
Li felt that flicker of surprise again. Everything he’d heard about the king and queen in the past couple days conflicted with his own experiences. But he wasn’t ready to let go just yet, he couldn’t shed his bitterness. His story was proof that class always interfered.
“Go to bed. I’ll stay up.”
“Will you wake me in a little while?”
“I’ll think about it. Go on.” There was a hard look in his eyes as he stared into the dying fire, and Tomoyo could imagine what he was thinking about.
“Very well. Good night.” Carefully she crawled into the tent and curled up next to Sakura. Poor, sad Sakura. She had loved him so much. Would she ever heal from the pain?
It could take a long time. She glanced at the young man by the fire, one last time before closing her eyes and resting her head on the grass. He was stretching, preparing to run through his drills.
Then again, maybe it wouldn’t.
- - - - - -
Eriol came to a halt and knelt on the grass. The moonlight cast a silver glow on the clearing and he could see well enough, despite the darkness. There was a fox there, digging madly, so intent on his task that he didn’t even hear Ruby’s hooves on the ground. Eriol almost had to shoo him away.
“Let’s see what he was after, shall we?”
It had been a long day, and he yawned. Since yesterday afternoon, when the colonel had discovered the fugitives’ trick with the horses, he’d dispersed his men to fan out over the countryside. Most of them went laterally out from the roads, but Eriol had retraced their path back down the lane, looking for any kind of clue. And upon seeing the dry and rocky creekbed, he decided to act on his instincts and follow it into the trees. He had no way of knowing when the princess and her friends dismounted, but this seemed like a logical place to do it, a place where they would leave no tracks.
It was tricky, trying to follow an almost non-existent trail through the forest, but he found himself rather enjoying the challenge. It was so much easier with none of those other idiots getting in his way.
“Hello, what do we have here?” He’d unearthed the bones of a few animals – at least two hares and maybe five or six fish. Meat still clung in some places and the smell had no doubt attracted the fox; these animals couldn’t have been killed more than a day ago.
Anyone could have killed them, of course. But why would a peasant with nothing to hide bother to bury the bones? He smiled with satisfaction as he stood.
“We’ve found the trail again, Ruby,” he announced. “But it’s too dark to keep on like this. Time to make camp.” She was already grazing, not paying any attention to him, but he felt like talking anyway. Eriol had been talking to her for so long, sometimes he felt as though she actually understood him. One of the dangers, he supposed, of spending more time with horses than people. But it couldn’t be helped. People were such absolute morons; they were best avoided.
He pulled his tent off her back and began hunting for wood.
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters
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