Episode 11
Tomoyo’s Point of View
The whiteness of the hospital blinded me, and the sounds were disconcerting. Moans and groans everywhere, with the occasional scream of complete terror now and then.
But worst of all was Sakura; she was on a chair, her hands pulling her head down from the back, her elbows resting on her knees as she her body convulsed with silent sobs and pain. Her pain showed in her panic-stricken eyes. It was a sad sight-I felt like crying. She blamed herself completely for what happened to Syaoran.
The doctor finally came out of the office with Syaoran in it. I tore my eyes away from my best friend to look him in the eye and ask our dreaded question.
“So, then…what happened?”
The doctor shook his head sadly. “His injuries are nothing; his magic protected him on the fall. But the magic was weakened by the fall, and the pointed rock broke through the barrier and hit the part of his brain where his memory resided. He won’t remember anything about himself or the people around him. When he sees you, something may spark in his mind and he’ll remember all of you, or… just how he previously felt about you.”
Sakura shook ever more violently. “Uwwaaaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!! I-I-I-it’s a-all my f-f-fault! I’m so st-stupid! How could I let this happen!?”
“It wasn’t your fault, Sakura, so don’t blame yourself!” I wailed.
“She’s right, Sakura. He could’ve just let you fall, or let someone else get you. But he didn’t; he chose to jump after you.” Meiling stepped in, putting her hand on Sakura’s back.
“G-gah!”
“She’s right. Now come on, come in and see him.” The doctor beckoned for us to follow him. We stepped into Syaoran’s room. He was wearing a patient’s gown, and looking around curiously. Then he noticed us.
“Oh, hello. May I ask whom you might… oh! It’s the young lady from the ride here, am I correct?” he asked politely, flashing a wonderful smile at Sakura.
She trembled whilst trying to nod.
“It’s so nice to see you again! As you can see, I was right when I told you I was fine.” Syaoran told her, beaming at her.
She couldn’t contain it anymore. Sakura leaped onto the bed, her arms folded across his chest as she sobbed. “I-I’m so s-sorry!”
He patted her head with a gentle look. “Now, now… I don’t even remember what happened, so how can anyone blame you?”
“Look around the room, Syaoran-kun, do you recognize any of these people?” The doctor addressed him formally, swooping his arm to us.
Syaoran looked at Eriol. “I feel like… you know me well.” Eriol returned his gentle gaze with his heartwarming smile; the two almost looked alike.
Syaoran turned his attention to me. “You… you are a nice person… and hold a secret.” I winked at him, and he winked back. Everything Syaoran was saying was said very slowly, like he was foreign. It was a little unnerving; it’s like there was a fire in his brain attacking mainly his memories department, and only scraps of files left, and he had to work hard to find them, match them, them say them.
He looked at Meiling. “I… have…known you for…a long time. You are…a third cousin four times removed??”
She twitched. “What the hell, I'm your cousin! Like, your closest cousin!”
He flinched at her raised voice, then got kind of angry. “Well, sor-ry if I can't remember anything!” then he covered his hand with his mouth. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude…”
“Yeah, yeah, whose she to you, then?” Meiling asked, firm but gentle.
Finally, he looked down at my sobbing best friend. His eyes softened when he looked closely at her… when she looked up, her tear-stained face hopeful, they softened to a point I'd never seen before; he remembered his love for her, even after all that.
“When I look at you, I feel… like I'm floating. It makes me feel warm inside, like I want to hug you.”
Sakura flushed scarlet. “What is my name? Do you remember, Syaoran?”
He went deep into thought, recovering as many files as he could. “Hmm… Sakino?” When Sakura’s face fell, so did his. “I’m sorry. Did I…offend you?”
Sakura bit her trembling bottom lip, her eyes blurring again from tears. He pulled her to his chest, pressing his lips into her brown hair. She didn’t even fight him; it was hard and embarrassing to watch.
Sakura’s Point of View
“So can I…bring him home, doctor?” I asked nervously.
He gave me the most cheerful smile he could manage. “Yes! Try to show him some things that would trigger his memory. You’re very lucky; he remembers a lot more than usual.”
I nodded solemnly and walked out the door.
When we got home, Syaoran looked a little embarrassed. “Uhm… I live here alone with you?”
I nodded. “You’re a Guardian of Tomoeda. We live here with the ‘servants’. Don’t you even remember that?”
He nodded happily. “Yes! Oh! So, does that mean, we’re in love or something?”
The cup I was holding smashed against the floor. “N-no! I mean…gah!” I ran upstairs, slamming the door and dropping to the ground, stuffing my face in my knees as the tears rolled down my cheeks.
Why? Why don’t you remember me? And why…why do I feel so hurt that he doesn’t remember me…?
There was a tapping on my door. I shot up and opened it, wiping the tears away frantically.
Syaoran stood at the door with a green tea.
“I’m sorry… really, I am. If I say something wrong, please tell me! I won’t bring it up again if you tell me not to.” He handed me the tea. “Peace offering.” He winked at me. I managed to actually crack a smile- the first one since the accident. We sat on the floor of my bedroom; it was awkward, I’ll admit. We just sat there drinking tea, occasionally looking at each other. We both got caught, and ended up staring at each other.
I turned away, my face glowing.
“So… what can you tell me about my life?” Syaoran asked, placing his hand carefully over mine.
I looked at him, not moving my hand. “You were a great fighter… well, you still are, I’m sure… we used to really hate each other…”
He squeezed my hand. “Then what’s this? If you hate me, why-,”
“Let me finish,” I snapped. “Then we decided it would be best if… we were friends. We went to balls and everything together, as the comradexcomrade kind of thing… you saved my life… more than once; a lot more than once. This last one, well… you see what it did to you.” I turned more to face him. “And I am unbelievably grateful to you for that.” My vision was getting blurry, and my face was screwing up into its crying position. I tried to hold them back, but the tears overflowed from my eyelids and slid smoothly across my cheeks. I bit my lip, hard; it was trembling like hell. “I still… (sniffle, sniffle) blame m-myself for this… and I am so, so sorry.”
Suddenly, I found myself in his arms. His hand snaked around my waist, the other holding my head firmly against his chest. “Please don’t blame yourself for what happened. If… if I jumped to save you, it was cause I really cared about you…I should be sorry. I think I've hurt you…” the last words came out softer than the others, and he grazed my forehead softly with his lips. “And I'm sorry I don’t know what our relationship is.”
I bawled into his chest, and he comforted me warmly.
Why can't you just remember me? I wanted to cry out. Why do you have to hurt me so much? Why do I feel this way? There were so many questions that were so overwhelming, they made me cry harder.
The next thing I knew, I was in my bed. Even while I was sleeping, I knew Syaoran never left my side the entire night.
Why?
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