Chapter 4
‘to let go’
- - at seven months - -“Thirteen… fourteen… fifteen…” Touya grunted as he pushed the bar up again. At long last, he’d finally been able to get a bench press, and a heavy punching bag was next on his list. His old bedroom was turning into a workout room.
“Sixteen… seventeen… eighteen…”
“Hey Nii-chan.” Sakura skipped into the room wearing a smile of anticipation on her face.
“Twenty-five,” he finished, and put the bar back on its rests. “What is it?”
“Are you ready to go?”
“Pass me that towel. Ready for what?”
“You know, you said you would take me shopping today. For a bathing suit.”
Touya gave her a skeptical look before taking a gulp from his water bottle.
“When did I say that?”
Sakura fidgeted a little. “Yesterday. When you were playing footsies with Yukito-san under the table and not really paying attention to what I was saying.”
Touya flushed. She was good. She was very, very good.
Sakura saw the look on his face and hastened to explain. “Look, Onii-chan, I wouldn’t press the issue, honestly. But I simply don’t fit into last year’s suit, and I need to wear something at the pool.” Touya was still scowling. “If money’s an issue I can always just borrow one from Tomoyo-chan - ”
“No,” he said quickly. “Money is not an issue. It’s just that you know how I feel about shopping.”
“I know.” A sly look came into those green eyes. “You could just give me the money, and I could go with Tomoyo-chan.” He uttered a short, sharp laugh as he stood.
“You really think I’m going to fall for that one? I intend to be there when you pick out this year’s lust suit, no question. Just let me shower, and we’ll be on our way.”
- - - - - - -
“You didn’t have to come, you know,” Touya told Yukito. “I feel bad putting you through this.” He looked around him with distaste. Everywhere, as far as he could see, there was nothing but girl’s clothing, girl’s accessories, girly things. Yukito smiled at his expression.
“That’s all right. I have a feeling you two are going to need me.”
Sakura poked her head out from behind the changing room curtain. “I’ve found it,” she related, glowing. “I’ve found the perfect bathing suit. I’m in love.” Touya perked up. That went much quicker than he thought it would. Then he narrowed his eyes.
“Let’s see it.”
She hesitated. “Onii-chan, do you remember what Dad said last summer?”
“Gee, let me think…”
“About my bathing suit? I know you were there and you heard it, because you spat out your drink on the table and had a coughing fit.” Touya did remember, but he didn’t acknowledge it, and crossed his arms.
“What are you talking about?”
“He said, next summer, which is this summer, I could have a bikini if I wanted.”
Dread knotted up in Touya’s stomach. “Sakura, you get out here right now.”
“Okay.” She took a deep breath and pulled back the curtain.
Wow.
Yukito couldn’t help it, he whistled. She blushed and smiled, then twirled a little for his benefit. Touya just uttered a moan like a soul in torment and covered his eyes.
“No! Absolutely not!”
“Onii-chan!”
“I said no!”
“But Onii-chan, come on. I look great in it.” She cast an admiring look into the mirror. It was a beautiful little pink bikini that accented her developing curves, with a gold clasp on the top’s front.
“That, Sakura, is precisely the problem.”
“Onii-chan, what is your issue? Why can’t you ever let me have fun?”
“You can have fun in a one-piece.”
Five, thought Yukito.
“Onii-chan, I love this suit! I need this suit. It’s perfect for me.”
Four.
“Sakura, you don’t understand how guys think when you wear stuff like that. It’s disgusting!”
Three.
“Like you’d know,” she snapped, and put her hands on her hips. “Dad said I could have a bikini this year, Onii-chan. This is the one that I want. And the price is totally reasonable!”
Two.
“Dad’s not in charge anymore,” he pointed out. “I am. And I don’t care what he said; you are not getting that suit!”
One.
“YUKI!”
“YUKITO-SAN!”
Simultaneously they turned and glared in his direction.
“Tell my brother - ”
“You tell my sister - ”
“- that he’s the most stubborn, pig-headed - ”
“- she cannot go out in public like that - ”
“- puritannical - ”
“- I might as well put a red light over her head - ”
“- overly obsessive, paranoid - ”
“- she doesn’t understand how men look at her - ”
“- maniacal freak!”
“- and it is not going to happen!”
People were starting to look in their direction, and Yukito tried to quiet them down.
“Shh, you guys, calm down. You’re attracting an audience.” They both crossed their arms and glared at each other. “Toya, try to relax. You have to admit that the price is very reasonable.”
“That’s not the issue!”
“But Toya, if her dad said that she could have one this year, then you should probably honor his word.”
“But - ” Yukito grabbed his arm and pulled him aside.
“Toya, she’s a teenage girl. She’s got her heart set on this suit, are you really going to break it?”
“But look at the way she looks in it!”
“I know you don’t like it, Toya, but she loves it. Doesn’t she deserve to look nice? Every girl wants to look beautiful. It’s only natural.”
“I cannot in good conscience allow her to get this suit, Yuki. I would be failing as a guardian.”
“All right. We’ll compromise.” He released Touya and turned back to Sakura.
“Sakura-chan, you can have the suit.”
“What?” she said in delight.
“What?” Touya asked in horror.
“If you make ninety or better on your final algebra exam.”
“Oh.” Her shoulders slumped a little. Touya relaxed.
“This is the only solution that I can think of. Either way, each of you will win something. Is this acceptable?”
Sakura shrugged, resigned. Touya grunted.
“Shake on it.” Grudgingly they shook hands. “Now Toya, you’ve made a contract. If she gets that grade, you will get her this suit. All right?”
“All right,” he sighed. “It’s not going to happen anyway. I’m safe.”
Sakura bit her lip. She knew she really didn’t have a good grasp of the material, but this was quite an incentive.
“We’ll see.”
- - at eight months - -The first day of summer vacation had arrived at last, and Sakura sighed happily as she entered the gates of the public pool.
“Sakura-chan! Over here!” Tomoyo had already arrived, and waved at her from where she sat with Naoko and Rika. Sakura returned the wave, then shouldered her bag that contained sunscreen and a towel.
“Coming!” She glanced over her shoulder. “Hurry up, you two. I need to get to work on my tan right away.”
Touya muttered something under his breath. “I can’t believe she actually made a ninety-three on her exam. How did she do that?” Yukito shrugged and smiled.
“Given the proper incentive, it’s amazing what people can do. She asked me to give her some extra tutorial sessions.”
“Traitor.”
“Hey, that grade was what got her an overall top score. You should be thrilled.”
“Yeah.” Touya watched his little sister prance along the side of the pool, turning every guy’s head. “I’m absolutely ecstatic.”
“Now remember, Onii-chan,” Sakura cautioned. “You said you would stay a minimum of five chairs away from me, and that you would not say or do anything too embarrassing. I’m here to hang out with my friends.”
“If you’re worried about my behavior, then you shouldn’t have brought me.” Sakura rolled her eyes.
“I didn’t bring you. You insisted on coming along.”
“Minor detail.”
“Whatever. Just please, please don’t do anything too humiliating while we’re here. Okay?”
Touya glared at her and threw his towel on an empty lounge chair.
“I don’t know what you think I’m going to do. I know how to behave – um, I know how to be - ” It was becoming more difficult for him to concentrate. Sakura was pulling off her shirt, and a boy about her age climbing out of the pool was staring at her with his mouth open. “I, uh, know how to beha – Hey! What the hell do you think you’re looking at?” He glowered at the boy, who gulped and dove back into the water. Sakura made an exasperated noise.
“See? That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Yukito-san, please try to keep my brother from killing anyone today, all right? Now I’m going to go sit with my friends and try to enjoy myself. You should do the same.” She turned on her heels and strode over to Tomoyo. Touya sulked and threw himself down on the chair.
“Oh come on, Toya, try to relax. You’re never going to stop men from looking at her, no matter what she’s wearing. She’s growing up to look just like your mother.”
That elicited only a moan of despair on Touya’s part, and Yukito chuckled. He sat on the edge of the lounge and rubbed Touya’s shoulders a little. Generally they were very careful about touching in public, but it was so hard to resist.
“Come on, you’re not doing yourself any favors by stressing like this. Just try to have fun. Finals are over, you earned a top score in all your classes, you deserve it.”
Touya remembered what his father had said. He really should try to enjoy himself.
“All right,” he said grudgingly. But if anybody touches her - ”
“I know, I know. He’s dead. Don’t worry. I don’t think any of them are that stupid.”
“Oh, Sakura-chan, you look so cute in that new bikini,” squealed Tomoyo, five chairs over. “I wish I had my camera.” Sakura blushed. “That’s going to be a great tan, isn’t it? I’m sure he’ll appreciate it - ”
Sakura hastily put a finger to her lips. Touya was only a few feet away, and he just might hear. Tomoyo took the hint, and shut up. They exchanged conspiratorial smiles, and Sakura lay back on her chair.
“I’m just here to relax and have fun, Tomoyo-chan. That’s all.”
- - - - -
Yukito clapped along with the rest of the crowd as Sakura completed a somersault dive into the pool.
“She sure is getting good,” he appraised. Touya had his eyes firmly shut.
“Did her top come off in the water?”
“No, Toya. Just like it didn’t any of the other times she dived today.”
“It could happen.”
“Well, it won’t. Stop worrying. I thought you were going to try and relax today.”
His friend on the chair next to his was rigid with apprehension as his eyes followed Sakura. She was stopping to talk to some friends of hers on the far side of the pool now.
“I am relaxed. I am so relaxed. You are looking at the picture of relaxation. I’m about to melt into a little puddle, I am so relaxed.”
“I’m not convinced,” Yukito said dryly. “Why don’t you swim a few laps, work off a little of that energy?”
“And take my eyes off her?”
“That’s the idea. I’ll watch her.” Touya gave him a measuring look, then stood and took off his sunglasses.
“Fine. A few laps. I’ll be right back.”
“Enjoy.”
Touya snorted and strode to the edge of the pool. He noticed a few girls admiring his muscles, and he blushed. If it wasn’t one thing, it was another. At least Akizuki wasn’t around anymore.
He dove into the pool and began to swim. He was a strong, quick swimmer, and he crossed the width of the pool in record time. When he hit the far side and paused, he realized that someone was cheering.
“Yay, go Onii-chan!” Sakura was clapping and smiling at him, smiling proudly. He grinned, then pushed off the wall again. She was proud of him, he realized. She was actually proud of him, proud that he was her brother. And that was the important thing, right?
Touya was feeling much better after ten laps, and he hauled himself out of the pool, dripping water and glowing.
“Feel better?” Yukito queried.
“Much. I’m ready for a drink. Want anything?”
“Sure. I’ll take a Coke.” He handed Touya some cash and Touya crossed the grounds to the snack bar. It was a hot day and many others had done the same, forming a small crowd clustered near the counter. He was waiting patiently when he heard the conversation behind him.
“Man, Sakura Kinomoto is so hot.”
“Tell me about it. That little pink number is delicious.”
It was a couple of boys lounging near the poolside, facing away from him. Touya stiffened.
“How many ways would you taste that cherry pie?” one asked, and they both snickered. Touya cracked his knuckles. He’d break the arm of the first one, then before the other had a chance to react –
“Not worth the risk, though. Nobody gets past that fire-breathing brother of hers. The guy’s a total psycho.”
“I heard he threw out Yuuhi-kun when she brought him over to study. Threw him out the window, I mean.” Touya shrugged and smirked. In his opinion the kid was lucky the window was already open, it wasn’t like there was any breaking of glass. But you’d never know that the way Sakura had fumed for the rest of the night. Oh sure, she said he was her assigned partner for the biology project, but she didn’t notice the way he was sidling up to her on the couch and –
“Besides, everybody knows that Kinomoto is still into Li-kun. Lucky guy. She’d never even look twice at me. Li-kun’s probably the only guy that even has a chance of standing up to her brother.”
Touya hmphed a little at that, though quietly. It was his turn, finally, and he pushed the money across the counter.
“Two cokes, please.” He was thirsty, and he took a big swallow of one.
“Hey, speaking of Li-kun, I heard he’s coming back for a visit in a couple of days.” Touya choked on his drink, and some of it went up his nose. Oh- ouch! That really burned!
“No kidding? We should get a pick-up game of soccer going… he’s the best right-hand forward I ever knew.” The two boys fell into a detailed discussion of soccer strategy, which Touya missed. He was marching across the grounds now, fury and determination building with every step.
Yukito saw the change, and cringed a little.
“What’s with you? And where’s my drink?”
“Where is she?” Touya snarled in response.
“I’m not really sure, I – oh, there she is.” Yukito nodded toward Sakura walking past them on the way to rejoin her friends. “Wait, what’s wrong?” Touya didn’t answer, but hastened to intercept Sakura.
“Hey Nii-chan, what’s up?”
“You really thought you could get away with it, didn’t you?” He crossed his arms, and she flinched a little.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Nice try.”
“Look Onii-chan, I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but I need to get back to my fr - ” she started to walk around him, and he grabbed her arm. “Ouch! Let go!”
“He’s coming. Here. In a couple of days. And you were going to hide it from me, weren’t you?” Sakura tried vainly to wriggle out of his grasp.
“I was going to tell you.”
“When?” She looked away, and he gripped both of her arms, holding her tightly. “Ha! You were going to hide it!”
“Only because I knew you would react like this! I knew you would freak out and go haywire and chain me to my bed. You are so predictable!” She looked over at Yukito appealingly. “Yukito-san, help!”
“Gomen, Sakura-chan, I’m not getting in the middle of this one.”
“Yuki, did you know about this?” His friend raised his arms in surrender.
“I swear I didn’t, Toya. She pulled the wool over both our eyes.”
“I knew you wouldn’t keep it from him,” Sakura pointed out. “Now Onii-chan, please let go. You’re embarrassing me.” Indeed, people were starting to look their way. “It’s no big deal. He’s coming for a couple of weeks, just like every summer, he’ll stay at Tomoyo-chan’s, we’ll just hang out. That’s all!”
“More like make out. You must think I’m really dense.”
“No! I just wanted to spend some time with him, that’s it. And I knew you wouldn’t let me!”
“That’s because I know what he wants.”
Sakura considered telling him about how she had begged Li to take her, and he had refused. It probably wasn’t a good idea, she would only get in worse trouble. Instead, she tried to pull away again. It was futile, her brother was much stronger than she was, and he wrapped his arms around her tightly.
“Hey, stop it!”
“So, you think I’m predictable, huh?”
Sakura yelped as he picked her up off her feet. “Onii-chan, stop it! Put me down!”
“Yuki, my sister thinks that I’m predictable. Can you imagine that?”
Yukito grinned. “No, I can’t.”
“Would a predictable guy do this?” He walked toward the edge of the pool.
“Hey, no, stop it! Onii-chan, don’t you dare!”
“Should I?” he asked of the avid crowd. Everybody erupted in cheers and shouts of encouragement.
“Onii-chan, don’t!”
“Promise that you won’t see him.”
“No way!”
“Then in you go.” He tossed her, shrieking helplessly, into the deep end. Everybody watching clapped and laughed. Even Tomoyo was giggling. Sakura was furious when she finally got her head above the surface.
“Onii-chan, that was so uncalled for. Why do you overreact like this?”
“Like what?”
“You know!” She threw her arms up in exasperation, and promptly sunk in the water. She had to remind herself to keep treading. “Nothing is going to happen between me and Syaoran, I swear it. Why can’t you just trust me?”
“Because you’re too young. I’m the older, wiser voice of maturity.”
“Maturity! That’s a laugh. You freak out at every little thing, and you have no sense of proportional reactions.”
“Yet I am still in charge. And I say you’re not seeing him.” He knelt to give her his hand, and she grasped it.
“I’m the Cardmistress, Onii-chan. And I don’t give up that easily.” Too late, Touya saw the look in her eyes, and tried to back away. But she squeezed his hand tightly and yanked, pulling him into the pool with her. Once again the crowd laughed.
“You little wench,” he spluttered.
“Serves you right.” She gave him a haughty look and tried to climb out of the pool.
“Oh no, you don’t.” With a squeal she found herself being dragged below the surface. Touya was incredibly strong, and he held her below the water for twenty seconds before letting her come up for air.
“This is abuse!” she shouted.
“No, it’s tough love. I know what’s best for you, Sakura, admit it.”
“No.” She pushed down on his shoulders, submerging him. He was glaring daggers by the time that he broke free. “I love Syaoran. Why can’t you understand that? I’m going to see him, and I don’t care what you do. You can’t stop me!”
“I can stop you,” he promised, and wrapped his arms around her to put her in a choke-hold. But Meilin had showed her how to get out of this, and she twisted and pulled him below the water with her. Together they rolled underwater for several seconds, and then finally Sakura managed to claw her way to the surface.
“Overbearing - ”
“Conniving - ”
“- won’t let me live my own life - ”
“- you don’t understand the way the world works - ”
“- just let go already!”
“- you first.”
Deadlocked, they paused for a moment in their wrestling to catch their breath and glare at each other. Then, unexpectedly, Sakura giggled.
“What?”
“He would be laughing so hard if he could see us.” Touya looked surprised, then he smiled too.
“He can see us. He’s probably rolling around helplessly right now.” Sakura laughed again at that, and Touya couldn’t help it. It was laughter that invited company, laughter that would not be ignored. He started too. Sakura was laughing so hard that she couldn’t stay afloat, and Touya had to wrap an arm around her.
“Whoops, careful. We don’t want you to drown.”
“I know,” she gasped between giggles. “I – I love you, Onii-chan. You’re the best.” Enthusiastically she hugged him, and they sank below the surface again. Underwater, he returned her hug, squeezing her gratefully. She was his little sister… he loved her and he didn’t ever want to let go. But he knew that one day, it was going to happen. All he could hope for was to have as many moments, like this one, as was possible. That’s what love was all about, after all. Trusting them to come back when you let them go.
“That’s when I knew it was going to be all right. That Toya would learn to start trusting his sister, because he knew how much she really loved him. And that she would respect him and listen to him. It’s a long road yet, but I think they’ll make it.”
Yukito paused to listen to a bird singing its song on a nearby tree branch.
“They drive each other absolutely crazy, you know. Hardly a day goes by without a shouting match, and possibly something being thrown. But deep down, they’re loving it. They distract each other from the pain. They really do need me as the referee; I don’t know how they’d manage without me. It’s nice to feel needed. As myself, that is, and not just the disguise form of Yue. I’m happy. I think Toya’s happy. And I’m sure Sakura-chan’s happy.” He checked his watch. “She’s probably hugging Li-kun right now at the airport. Toya drove her there to meet him. He can rant and rave all he wants, but I know he wants her to be happy, and he knows that Li-kun helps her with that.
So I guess that’s all I wanted to say. That we’re all doing fine. They miss you so much, both of you, but they’re all right. They’re doing okay. Wherever you are, just know that, and be content. Your children will be fine.”
Yukito turned away from the gravestones, and took a moment to savor the evening summer breeze. He needed to get home and start dinner. Li would be eating with them that night, of course, and then Sakura would walk with him back to Tomoyo’s. Touya would probably insist on following, and there would be another battle. It didn’t matter. Yukito knew it would turn out all right. Things were going to be just fine. Life was going to be all right.
The End
Disclaimer: I do not own these characters.
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