Best Friends - Chapter Eleven

Sakura couldn’t breathe. She couldn’t believe that after everything she did, all the years they’ve been friends, even after she told him she loved him that he would still chose his girlfriend over her. Her body felt numb all over, dulling her senses and slowing motion in her joints. At the same times, she was burning up. She could feel the heat, radiating from her heart, like a column of fire, consuming her. She knew she should leave. She had lost and Jet had won. But even as her brain was ordering her limbs into motion, Syaoran spoke again. And if anything would make her move, it would be his voice. His warm, masculine tone. He was trying to soothe her, trying to apologize. She couldn’t hear the words, just the way he spoke them. But she knew well enough what he was trying to say. It was then that she realized the heat was not just radiating from her heart, it was coming from her eyes. She was crying. Crying. The word echoed in her head. The one she swore she would never let anyone see. But her tears didn’t stop, not even after she ordered them to, in her brain of course. And all the taunting Jet had done to her came back in a wave of incoherent sorrow. He really did love Jet more than her. That was all she could comprehend. Her world was spinning out of control. Suddenly nothing seemed right any more. She vaguely recalled thinking that everything would be alright, as long as Syaoran was on her side. And now he wasn’t. All these thoughts ran through her head and they whirled and chased each other around. So fast they made her dizzy but she steeled herself and commanded herself not to let go, not to succumb to weakness. And she didn’t. She stayed strong on the inside, and that kept her from breaking down on the outside. And then she made her choice; she would never allow herself to have feelings ever again. She would become stone, like Syaoran had once been, before they had ever even known about Jet. Only this time, there would be no one to free her heart and warm as she had done for Syaoran. She would be colder than steel, indifferent yet polite. And this would never happen ever again. But Syaoran was still talking, and as long as she heard his voice she would still melt and be sad. She had to stop him from speaking or maybe, stop herself from hearing his voice.

“…Please understand, I love Jet-“

“More than me.” She finished his sentence coldly. Before he could deny this, she was gone, running away, back to the crowd, to her friends. They were ready to cheer for her, she could tell. But they saw her face, her beautiful face, still stained with tears, as they had been on the first day of school. Only this time there was no Syaoran to wipe them away. He wasn’t there to hold her and tell her that everything would be okay. He wasn’t there now, and he never would be again. Not if she could help it.

Mei Lin and Tomoyo were there to meet her. And their mouths were poised to tell her what an ass Syaoran was being and that they would talk to them immeadiately. But she silenced them with a look of pure steel. Neither cold nor uncaring, just… indifferent. That one look projected to them and showed them that she didn’t care. “It’s okay.” She was saying. Her voice sounded different, it was shaking from the pain in her heart. But she forced it down angrily. She pushed her feelings to the side as the obstacles that they were. She would never feel anything again. “it’s not your fault.” And then she kept walking. No one had the strength to follow her, not after they had seen her face. They were all frozen to the spot because her face, her one- bouncy, happy, beautiful face, was now a mask of pain. And nothing but time could heal that. But Syaoran didn’t give up. He hadn’t been able to look in her eyes for he was so filled with guilt and shame. Still, there was a small part of him that told him he was right and that Sakura would get over this, that she was wrong and that he’d chosen the right girl. But deep inside he knew that he was just lying to himself, to make him feel better. It worked, but he still needed to tell her that. He was right and she was wrong.

He ran to catch up with her and when he did, he gripped her by the shoulders and spun her around. And froze. Her eyes had the coldest fuck-you expression Syaoran had ever seen. Colder than what he used to see when he looked in the mirror. Her emeralds might as well have been made of ice, her face was unmoving, unforgiving. It told him to fuck off, that she didn’t need him, didn’t need any one. Her eyes were glaring at him so sharply he swore he felt it in his chest. And it made him uneasy, because in the past, he had always been able to calm her and kick the ass of whatever the source of her pain was. But now the source of her pain was the one person who would ever have been able to calm her and her knew not what to do. “Take your hands off me, Li.” It wasn’t a request, it was a statement, a threat. What shocked him even more was how formal and distant she sounded. She didn’t use his nickname, the one she had fought so hard to earn. Never had he felt so ashamed of himself until that moment when she said those words to him. Her throat was caught and her eyes were bright, brighter than he had ever seen them before. Then he realized that they were so bright because she was crying. She was crying in front of everyone, because of him. He knew that wouldn’t have if it was some minor thing, something she would just get over eventually. It was then that he realized that his decision was permanent, nothing could undo. He wished that he could take it back, choose her instead. But he couldn’t- or wouldn’t he wasn’t sure- but his pride would not allow him to reverse his decision. All he could do was stand there, frozen by her voice, her face, her memory.

He barely felt it when Jet wrapped her arms around him, talking to him seductively, telling him he made the right choice. She put her tongue in his ear, but all he could remember was the time he had first met Kero. The puppy had jumped on him and stuck his wagging tongue in the boy’s ear. So he barely felt it. He was lost, swimming in his memories of her. She was gone, it seemed. She was never coming back.

After a time, Syaoran felt Jet being ripped from him, but he was too dazed to notice. All he could do was gaze at the spot where Sakura had been. He should’ve been man enough to go after her and tell her… what? What could he have possibly said to make stay, forgive him? Suddenly Mei Lin’s face was there, scowling at him like a cook does a stray mutt. She slapped him across the face. So hard in fact that it snapped to the side and his cheek burned. He could practically feel the tiny imprints her fingers would’ve made. Already his cheek was turning red. He didn’t really notice that either. His brain barely registered the fact that his sister had hit him. She’d never done that before. She probably wouldn’t have if he chose the right girl. Mei Lin always knew what was best for her brother, not thought she knew like some sister, she really did know what was best for him. No choice she had ever made for him had ever gone awry or backfired. She just knew what would be best for him. And right now it was apparent that Sakura was what was best for him. No one else could’ve been able to shake him from his icy state in the past, only Sakura. And suddenly she was talking, scolding him or something. He couldn’t really hear what she was saying, it just felt as if he was on the beach again, with Sakura by his side, listening to roar and crash of the ocean. A video camera was stuck in his face. It took a while for him to understand what he was seeing. He realized it was Jet and Kai. And that Jet had willingly let herself be taken by him. Another wave of guilt and self-pity had washed over him. He finally understood what Sakura was trying to show him all along. He snorted at the irony. He had to see this now when it was already too late. Jet was a bitch, a ho, whatever. All he could remember was that he broke up with her and she had stopped struggling in his sister’s grasp and that for some strange reason there was a tree branch in her mouth. He saw the looks of approval everyone gave him, except the one person who actually mattered; Sakura. He wondered where she was now and he prayed she would forgive him. He finally understood what his heart was telling him, what Mei Lin had been trying to make him realize; he loved her too. And now all that mattered was that he find her and tell her. Which he would’ve, except everything went black.

Mei Lin

We saw Sakura hurl Jet into her windshield and some of us cheered. It seems Jet wasn’t just a bitch to us after all. Then suddenly Syaoran was there, yelling at them. We couldn’t really hear what he was saying but it was kind of obvious that they were making him choose between them. I was SO SURE he was going to pick Sakura. That kid would’ve been good for him, you know. But no. He walked over to Jet and held her like her used to Sakura. But her face stayed frozen. When she ran over to us her face was so cold I half-expected the tears on her cheeks crystallize and turn into ice or diamonds or something. I swear that girl was a mind reader though, because even before we’d opened our mouths to apologize, she was already forgiving us. It sounded odd, as if her throat were clenched and sound was struggling to escape it. Another thing I noticed, she was shaking, not just her voice or anything but her whole body. As if she was cold or something. All of a sudden my little brother’s there, holding her by the shoulders but not saying anything. I could see the way she searched his eyes, even though hers were still icy, as if she was looking for a sign that he might take back his choice. But he didn’t, as I knew he wouldn’t. Sometimes I wish we hadn’t been raised to be so proud. Maybe then he would’ve called her back and told her what we all knew he wanted to tell her. But he didn’t so she ran, away from him, us, everything. And there was Jet, that sorry excuse for a person, simpering after him. I swear that girl had no shame. And she actually coiled herself around him and stuck her tongue in his ear. He didn’t move cuz he probably didn’t feel anything but I swear I saw that evil look of triumph all over her plastic features. I just snapped, I’m sorry but I lost it (Well I’m not sorry at all but Chibi says that I’m supposed to be. For morality or whatever. You know what I think? Screw morality; I hate that Jet bitch.) I ran over there and literally ripped her off of my little brother, who still wasn’t moving by the way. Honestly, he worries me sometimes. Any way I ripped that girl off of him like kid with a scab. She was like a parasite, sucking out everything that could possibly make his life worthwhile; trust me, Sakura was everything. She was wailing like a newborn, drawing attention to herself I suppose. She was screaming garbage like “Syaoran, help me dammit!” or “RAPE! I’m getting raped!” So I had to pin her and shut her up somehow. I looked around and, being the awesome resourceful gal that I am, I stuck a tree branch in her wide-open trap. I don’t think it was the most sanitary thing to do but who cares. It shut her up, anyhow. And now she was flailing, trying to get out of my obviously uncomfortable constrictor grip. I think she even whacked her own sister in the head. If it was accidental, I’ll never know. “Now, Tomoyo!” I yelled at my friend. She knew what I was talking about, even if I wasn’t being really specific. We were good like that, almost had twin telepathy like Syaoran and Sakura. Anyways, shouting that my brother wasn’t working which was kind of understandable, considering he just made the biggest mistake of the century. So Tomoyo, thrust her camera in his face. It actually seemed to work. His face took on an expression of realization and remorse. It could almost see him cursing at irony. Which was kind of misplaced blame because he really should’ve cursing at Jet and himself for her lies and idiocy. But of course he didn’t and I don’t know why I even bother hoping for if because it’s never going to come. Finally, he spoke. “Jet, we’re done. It’s over between us, you bitch.” I swear I felt like cheering. And then… the rich brat a.k.a. Jet stopped struggling like a fish and just stayed still. Afterwards, anyone in front of me wore they saw her eyes turn red with anger but I wasn’t able to see. Since she had stopped struggling, my grip on her loosened. She unexpectedly wrenched herself out of my grasp quicker than I thought possible and bashed an unprepared Syaoran in the head with the tree branch several times and then he fell. Tomoyo started screaming for someone to call and ambulance while waving her cell phone hysterically. I guess she was afraid of blood… No of that was really on my mind because at the moment all I wanted to do was rip that girl’s head off. I was about to spring at her and do just that but someone got to do it before me. All I could see was a silky mop of silvery white hair attacking. It hit me that it was Katana, Jet’s sister. And I’ll be damned if I didn’t want to help but I swear my honour wouldn’t let me. Three against one was not exactly fair and that other girl, Ayisha I think that was her name, had jumped in and was doing what I couldn’t. Anyway, someone called the ambulance and the cops came too for some reason. And we were all arrested (except Syaoran and Tomoyo) and went to jail for violence.

The Next Day

We were all sitting in a tiny, cramped, urine-smelling jail cell. Jet looked amusingly ruffled and was sporting a huge black eye. At about noon out parents came to bail us out. And I swear I heard Jet’s mother congratulate her on breaking someone so thoroughly. I swear I will never understand these pompous rich bastards. Well, except for Katana who was promptly disowned for attacking her sister. Her reaction surprised me, to say the least. I expected her to cry or something but instead she slapped her mother and leaned in real close to her sister and said something along the lines of; “That bruise was an early birthday present, enjoy. There’s a lot more where that came from.” And then she went to her father and told him to chain up his cars and lock ‘em up tight. And the man suddenly paled for a reason that I couldn’t understand at the moment. But damn, she was pretty damn scary and I was so proud of her I said, “Hey ‘Tana, Screw the surname ‘Tsai’, you’re a Li now.” And we were happy until Tomoyo came and reminded us we had a brother in the hospital.

Normal POV

Syaoran felt like crap. Not because of his head (which had healed fine because luckily he had fainted from exhaustion and not Jet’s pathetically weak blows to the head). He felt like crap because he was thinking about what he could say to Sakura when he saw her. He was still mulling it over in his head several hours later when his sister came in, looking proud and triumphant for some reason. Behind her was Tomoyo and Tsai Katana. He was wondering what she was doing here and why she wasn’t dead yet, as she was Jet’s sister. But Mei Lin hadn’t killed and he supposed it was a good thing. Before he had a chance to clarify what he was seeing verbally, Mei Lin looked him in the eyes and told him that they had to go see Sakura. His stomach dropped and his heart melted at the same time at the sound of her name. He agreed and his sister dragged him out, singed the appropriate forms and drove like a whirlwind to Avalon Jade’s house. They used a trick they saw Sakura do to break into the house when she forgot her key. The door opened to reveal….

Mountains upon mountains of empty cinnamon Popsicle boxes. But no Sakura. They searched the entire house ‘til they were absolutely sure that she wasn’t home. So they went to the hospital where Jade was still recovering from her surgery. But when they got inside, Jade just gave them a melancholy look as they asked her where Sakura was.

“She left me a note…” They all huddled together as Tomoyo read it.

Dear Mama Jade,

I need to return to China. Don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine. I don’t know when I’m coming back, or if I even will come back. Just know that I love you.

-Sakura-

The words ‘don’t worry about me I’ll be fine’ were sort of contradicted by obvious tear splatters on the paper, along with something that looked unsettlingly like blood….