The Rules - Revised- Chapter Five

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS, at all.

The Rules, Revised

Recap:

He rubbed his sore stomach. His eye caught something on the floor. It looked like some kind of book. Curious he picked it up. Diary it said. His smirk was brought back into his face. If there was one way to get into the innermost thoughts of his victim, it was to read her Diary. Tenderly he picked it up and walked out of her room with renewed vigor.

Chapter Five

December 24th

It’s Christmas Eve, again. Another year gone by. Same as always, daddy’s always in a state. Always angry and depressed. I don’t blame him though, I mean it is mom’s thirteenth year anniversary. I’m pretty upset too. It’s impossible to be happy on Christmas. Thirteen years. Has it really been that long since she died? It’s not fair that she left me like this. I know it’s all my fault. Daddy tells me so. I know how it happened, but… I don’t remember it. I was so little. I’m a terrible person, I know I am. Why else, how else would I have been able to murder my own mother. It was an accident, I know that. But… I did it didn’t I? I must have, even if I don’t remember it. Daddy told me I did. He got angry at me. I deserve everything that happens to me. I’m a killer. How could I have done it? I can’t. I mean… I wont… I just… I have to go.

Sakura

Syaoran read the entry three times before it finally clicked. Killed her own mother. Murderer. He could understand now why she was so angry at him for his jokes about her mother. I was cruel. He thought. He had to talk to his mother, this changed everything.

He knocked on his mothers door late that night after Sakura had gone to bed.

“Come in.” His mother’s voice called. He opened the door slowly and stepped inside.

“What do I owe this pleasure?” His mother asked pleasantly. “Need a house key again?”

“No.” He replied. “I wanted to talk about… I mean… Mother.” He sighed, “How did Sakura’s mom die?” Yelan looked up startled.

“How did you find out?” She asked.

“That…. I ... it doesn’t matter how I found out. What happened?” He sputtered. Yelan let out a deep breath.

“Sakura killed her.” She said simply. Syaoran’s eyes widened. So it was true.

“Well, that’s the story anyways.” His mother continued. “The story is that Nadeshiko Kinomoto, Sakura’s mother, was making dinner and little Sakura ran into the kitchen, knocking over her mother who then fell onto the knife she was using at the time. She was left bleeding on the kitchen floor, death did not come quickly for her. Sakura of course was little and doesn’t remember such an event.”

“But if something that tragic happened, wouldn’t Sakura remember it? I mean, her mom’s bleeding wouldn’t she remember or have flash backs or something?” Syaoran asked desperately.

“I’d assume so, but she was never put into therapy. Never went to a doctor, was never traumatized. It seems as if she doesn’t remember it at all. It’s almost as if it didn’t happen.” Yelan explained.

Syaoran looked at his mother curiously. “You don’t believe it.” He concluded. “You don’t think that’s what happened.”

“No,” She said. “No I don’t.” Syaoran looked at his mother, she would have a good reason for this. He was sure.

“Why?” He asked.

“For obvious reasons. I’m well informed and I find it odd that a girl who suffered such a tragic incident, committed such a crime would not remember it. I remember when I was two and my aunt was murdered. I remember every detail of her death. Sakura was three when her mother died, but she remembers nothing. She only remembers her mother being carted off in an ambulance hours after the act. I find that very strange.” His mother looked at him with wisdom in her eyes.

“Think about it Syaoran.” She urged. “It’s not normal. It’s not logical.”

Syaoran sighed, “And she didn’t go to counseling? No charges were pressed? She was simply, left to be? Is there any proof?”

“There isn’t.” She replied. “the detectives found no hint that Nadeshiko Kinomoto was murdered by the hand of her daughter and yet they found no evidence that she wasn’t. So Sakura was left alone.”

“If a small child of three, murdered someone, there would be a mound of proof. She was so little. And I can tell just by looking at her that she’d neither discreet nor punctual. She’s a klutz. How could there be no evidence?” He asked heatedly.

“Exactly.” Yelan agreed.

“I don’t believe she murdered her mother… what was her name again?”

“Nadeshiko.” His mother answered. He nodded.

“Wait, wasn’t that the name of that woman who used to come by here and talk to you?” He asked, “The pretty one, the one with the long hair.”

“That would be her.” Yelan confirmed. “She always wanted to tell me something but never actually did. She’d just blabber about this and that but would never actually get to the point. We had an appointment on the day she died. She had written me a letter explaining that she really wanted to tell me everything and she was ready to. She was ready to talk. And then she died.”

“Weird.” Syaoran said to himself. “I was four at the time. Nadeshiko, Nadeshiko.” He tried the name a couple of times. “She was the bruised one. Always looked like she just came out of a fight. That was Sakura’s mother.”

“Yes.” Yelan said. “That was her.”

“Hmm.” He moved towards the door. “Thank you Mother, I’ll be heading off to bed.” Truthfully, he was going to read some more of Sakura’s Diary. He’d had a hell of a time explaining and acting when Sakura ran out of her bedroom in a panicked state searching for her lost journal.

“Okay son.” Yelan said. Syaoran nodded still in mid thought, his hand on the door knob.

“Oh and Syaoran.” Yelan called, “Since when do you call her Sakura?” He blinked a couple of times, he hadn’t even realized he’d been doing it.

“Goodnight mother.” He answered.

--

January 15th

Dear Diary, Happy Belated New Year. Sorry I haven’t written. Dad’s kept me busy meeting all his rich friends. I don’t understand how he manages to make them. Being the beast he is. Another boy asked me out. I said yes. I know it’s surprising, but It’s been two years. I figured I could try and trust again. Well, I don’t think I’ll ever trust men around Dad’s age but I can try someone my own age right? It’s not to much to ask for to just be happy with someone right? Mom was happy wasn’t she? I think I can manage to be happy like mom was. She wouldn’t have liked that I think. Anyways, I have to go, date tonight.

Sakura.

Syaoran resisted urge to laugh. Sakura, the girl who couldn’t even look at him without a glare, had had a boyfriend. And that was only… he checked the calendar. Five months ago. He read on.

January 30th

Dear Diary, I broke up with him. Bastard. You know what he tried to do. He tried to force me to submit to him! Tried to beat me into having sex with him. Can you believe that? Not like I haven’t had enough beating to last me a life time. But now a guy I was dating decided to beat me too? I swear, guys are not worth it. They’re not trustworthy or nice, or kind or anything. Is it too much to ask for one spark of happiness? Is that too much? I guess so. It’s like it was two years ago. All guys are the same. Low life scum. I’m done with them.

Sakura

Now Syaoran was a relatively mean guy sometimes, but he’d never hit a girl. That was against everything he’d be taught. Against all his own morals and he couldn’t believe someone would hit Sakura, of all people. She was scary enough as it was. And trying to force her to screw them, what were they thinking? Wouldn’t it have been better just to ask? Syaoran blinked. He started another entry, this one from the front of the book.

August 26th

Dear Diary, Wow. Guess I found you. You were hidden somewhere at the bottom of my boxes. Moving is such a pain. But It was for the best. Third time we’ve moved first time was when Dad moved in. Second time was when Mom died and this time is because Dad’s work is closer to here. I’m not complaining though (I’m not allowed), At least here he can’t bother me. Falling in love is terrible. Especially when you fall in love with someone who doesn’t love you. And all they want is in your pants and you come so close to letting them and then you realize that they’re not worth it. So you pull away. And then… in desperation… they become violent. But you stay with them. Because you love them. Story of my life it seems. Everything is violent. Well, I broke up with him finally. He came begging me to go back out with him, but I refused. I’m glad we moved, really, I don’t love him anymore. I swear

Better finish unpacking.

Sakura

Syaoran froze. What was he supposed to think about that? Her entries were clear, but hidden at the same time. It was as if she was hiding something just in case someone was to find her diary. Letting her feelings out but not telling the entire story. Not fully letting go.

‘She always wanted to tell me something but never actually did. She’d just blabber about this and that but would never actually get to the point.’ His mother’s words echoed in his head. It seemed that her daughter, Sakura, was doing the same thing. Never getting to the point simply beating around the bush until they can’t anymore. Syaoran had a sudden thought. In order to get to the heart of a person, you need to let them trust you. And to get someone to doesn’t trust anyone to trust you, you need to be there when they need you. Like a Crisis… or … a secret. So when she was ready to tell, all he had to do was listen. That was easy enough. Simply but effective. His thoughts were cut short. She was crying again her could hear her. Quietly her got off his bed, hiding her Diary under his mattress and made his way out of his room and into the hall. He paused when he reached her room. Quickly he tired the door handle. Unlocked. He pushed it open and peaked inside.

“Sa—Kinomoto-san?” He called softly. “Are you alright.” He saw her head face down in a pillow. Her body was convulsing. If there was anything he wanted at that moment it was to make the noise stop. It killed him to hear it. Crying made his heart soft, which made in vulnerable. The problem was that it wasn’t only when he cried; it was whenever he heard someone crying. It was even worse when he saw someone crying. He felt his body move forwards cautiously. He sat on the edge of her bed and rubbed her back, like he’d done to his sisters.

“It’s going to be alright.” He soothed. He had no idea what he was telling her was going to be alright, he had no idea if it was going to be alright but it was the only thing he could say. Sakura looked up from her pillow and saw Syaoran. Her body stopped convulsing as his hand ran up and down her back gently. She’d never seen him so kind. It had been a long time since someone had placed their hand on her back in attempt to calm her. Thirteen years if she were to count. Her breathing slowed.

“It won’t be alright.” She told him, “But I already knew that.” She sat up, his hands returned to his side. “You don’t have to be nice to me.”

“I know.” He replied.

“You don’t have to help me.”

“I know.” He replied.

“You don’t have to—“

“I want to.” He said. “I’m—“ He was going to say he was weak to the sounds of crying. But thought twice about giving away his weaknesses to a girl he didn’t exactly know. “I’m in need of a hot chocolate, how about you?” He asked lamely. Sakura laughed.

“I think I’d like that.” She replied. He offered her his hand, she refused it.

“Still don’t trust me?” He asked.

“Still a man?” she asked. He nodded. “then no.”

“So if I say I’m a woman, you’ll trust me?” He asked skeptically.

“Are you’re reproductive organs still on the outside?”

“Yes.”

“Then no.” She said coldly. He sighed, his idea for being there for her when she needed him or needed to vent or whatever it was that she needed to do to trust him was started to seem less appealing. Just how long, would he have to wait for her to open up to him? Weeks? Months? Years?

“Guess I’ll just have to get surgery then.” He mumbled to himself. Sakura laughed. Maybe it wouldn’t take that long after all.